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  1. baZING
    J’ai flotté avec toi
    dans une belle rêverie.

    ..........(It
    ..........was beautiful,
    ....................or so I thought,
    ....................when the weight of
    ..........our
    ..........steps
    ....................cracked fractures
    ....................and veins
    ..........across
    ..........the
    ..........paper surface of
    ....................a frozen winter lake.)

    Nous avons marché
    prudent,
    mais intrépide.
    La glace a cassé,
    et je suis tombé.

    ..........(You caught me
    ....................so I wouldn’t sink. I
    ..........held the velvet arms
    ....................of your favorite coat,
    ....................suited so perfectly to keep
    ..........me from drowning
    ..........in
    ..........my own
    ..........dream.)

    Tu m'as sauvé.
    Tu m'as sauvé.
    mais je n'ai voulu pas que.

    ..........(We
    ..........were lying on
    ....................the shore,
    ..........so
    ..........sure
    ..........of what would
    ....................become of
    ..........us.)

    Je m’ai réveillé.
    Je ne pouvais pas te trouver.
    mais je
    t'ai cherché.

    ..........(I rubbed my eyes,
    ....................glazed and unfocused and
    ....................searched until I
    ..........forgot that
    ..........you were what
    ....................I was trying to find.)

Comments

  1. NeuroChi
    Beautiful. I'm glad it worked out (with the formatting)!
  2. baZING
    Thanks Neuro... me too. Glad I know that trick for the future, thanks again for the help and I'm glad you like it :)
  3. Mindless
    The formatting encapsulates each image. The technique is clever, we usually read words and even whole sentences as an entire unit, this way the text is read more deliberately and it's impact intensifies.
  4. baZING
    Did you notice the "poem-within-a-poem" as well, Mindless? In the English bits, the left-indented words can be read vertically in addition to left-to-right. For example, the left-indented words in the last English stanza (if you could call it a stanza) read, "I forgot you." However, what you said was also correct; the formatting also serves to somewhat deconstruct the sentence as a unit. The formatting ended up working in a few different ways that made me quite tickled.

    Thank you very much for the comment!
  5. Mindless
    Ah, no I failed to spot that. I can see it now.
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