Saying Goodbye & Letting Go Is Never Easy

By ZenobiaSky · Jul 5, 2012 · ·
  1. ZenobiaSky
    This is my last blog for awhile, tomorrow morning I am entering inpatient rehab for 28 days. I have to be there at 0830 which is an hour and a half away, and I can't sleep. I'm scared what if I don't like who I really am? What's worse are those that I have to say good-bye to, and remove from my life. My friend Chris and especially his nephew, I love them so much, and they don't understand. They don't know I'm going to treatment, and I can't ever see them again. Especially since Chris was getting me stuff, and allowed his guy to get my info, leading to my bottom. I'm not really worried about self incrimination at this time, since the police know the whole story. I wish I could tell him, but he won't listen. Besides, he's an alcoholic and I can't be around that. I also know I will lose my bff wants the truth of it all comes out. She is the one I started using prescription drugs as RC. Still we trade off Ritalin and Adderall. Yeah she saved my life, but then she broke my heart when she choose her new husband she had just met 4 months prior. And who is the first on she calls after he walks out on her and the kids. She is unreliable, not sure how honest, must constantly have a man in her life, and they just flock to her, I can't get a date with a decent guy for nothing. Anyway, I guess this time it will be me choosing sobriety and stability over her. And the funny thing is, I really don't feel to bad about it. Because in all honesty she has again chosen a guy over me, there never seems to be a happy medium.

    Actually the thought of having no cell phone and no internet for 28 days sounds great, NO DRAMA, and hate to say it but that girl is all about drama, and I'm all about wanting peace....

    crap I have to get up in 3 hours... not even sure it's worth sleeping... peace to all, and see ya in 28 days!

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  1. enquirewithin
    I can't think of anything to say that doesn't patronizing, but I'm sure things will get beter for very soon.:-
  2. Peyote
    Keep your head up girl. This will be a radical change in your life. Stay positive..
  3. AussieJoe55
    Good luck with everything.The first steps are always the most challenging.Dates are overrated lol:)
  4. baZING
    I'm a little late to the ballgame and I wish I had seen this sooner. In any event, you will see this when you return. I'm with enquirewithin and am sure things will be better from this point out. I am anxiously awaiting your return!
  5. Phenoxide
    All the best, and take care. Please do stop by to let us all know how it goes if you feel able to do so without compromising your recovery.
  6. ZenobiaSky
    Clean for 9 days now.... I'm pretty shakey but still, doing ok... I'll check in again soon.
  7. edDafuss
    I wish you the best. These coming days could be the most difficult you've ever faced, but then nothing that is easy is worth having. Some people seem to have a hard time welcoming solitude but my experience have shown me that learning how to be
    alone is an important part of life because it can keep out of trouble.
    It give you time to discover who yoou really are. If you can't love yourself you can't truly love someone else. I'm quite sure you will do fine. There is a time when I realized I was my own worst enemy and not my own best friend. Perception of our selves can be shroued by substance and addiction.
    Solitude has helped me in many ways and I hope it can help you. There is always a positive in every negative. All in all I'm sure you'll come out much wiser for the wear. All the best to you. 777:thumbsup:
  8. monkeyspanker
    Dang, Zeb my friend, lovely storms of the monsoon flash by like thunder and just a bit of light, we all have cross's to bear, mine might exceed your's tho does that really matter??

    I hope to hear from ya soon, you have so much to give, please accept that in your heart, use it!! Always here for ya girlfriend. Keep us posted please, monkey
  9. ZenobiaSky
    Thank you!!! 24 Days Clean and Sober, looks like I might get to go home on Friday. They want me to go to a halfway house after this, of course I'll have to wait for a bed. Which will give me time to talk myself out of it... or not, depends on how things go after I get home. It has been rough, but as I look back the change amazes me, last week someone told me how strung out I was when I got here, I don't doubt that, did my last line in the parking lot. Since then 2 other people have shown up from my town for the same thing... hmmm makes you wonder if they have a meth problem there lol... Anyway... just an update, I'll post to my blog about my rehab experiences when I get home.. Till then thank you so much for your support!!!!
  10. DocBrock
    Yay!. Lovely to see you posting good news.

    Look forward to reading more good stuff from and about you.

    Till then,

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