Leave it to the Russians to invent a much more efficient way to consume alcohol and reenforce bad social stereotypes.
Satisfied that all disease has been cured, the world’s energy problems are a thing of the past and our lives are about as perfect as they can possibly be, Russian scientists have figured out a way to transmografy booze in to pill form.
The new pills can be made from any kind of alcohol, be it vodka, whiskey, cognac, brandy or what ever you’d like your pills made out of, although it doesn’t really make a difference since you won’t be tasting your hooch.
This is, indeed, a world of wonder. Where things that people have absolutely no business improving are improved. The scientists claim that this would make it easier for booze hounds to avoid getting to messed up, thus defeating the purpose of consuming alcohol in the first place.
Of course, the pill probably won’t catch on with normal people who enjoy sitting around and having a beer with friends, but it sure saves shelf space, not to mention leaves your breath smelling as fresh and clean as a Prohibition-era meadow. Plus, it’s way easier to carry from the car in to the house.
And it will hopefully keep kids from trying things like this.
December 1, 2009