I'm tired of feeling wrong every time I wake up. I shouldn't be here. I'm learning nothing. MY life is stagnated. I care about no one around me. No one around me has any contact with me beyond what one would expect from strangers forced to be near each other by circumstances. Casual courtesy, smalltalk, politically correct politeness...these things are fine when you are actually around strangers. But not living with your family. There ought to be a grain of substance to the fundamental relationships in your life. There is no substance in my life at this point. The only thing that existed was hope;dreams that I could some how make it back to the place where everything was perfect (aka college). I knew I'd eventually get back there. But I left it as some nebulous "eventually."
After serious thought I've said why not? Why not now instead of eventually? Let's take something nebulous and bring it into reality. For the past 24 hours my skin has literally been crawling and itching everytime I think that I'm about to be free again. I'll be able to grow and be happy again. I'll have some control over my life for which I can take responsibility. I don't have to sit here in misery as if it's a sentence from fate, as if I'm supposed to endure this torturous existence.
The only decision left is if I should tell my parents or just leave.
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