Self-Indulgent Poetry

By la fee brune · Oct 29, 2014 · ·
  1. la fee brune
    The title says it all. Since I've been writing my novel, I've occasionally become afflicted with the urge to write horribly self-indulgent, pretentious poetry. I wrote this in a moment of blistering sobriety as I was having a creative crisis. I couldn't think of a name for it, so I'll just call it...


    Are all humans born with this capacity for pain,
    or is it only the chosen few who must suffer
    to create what gives meaning to the lives of the many?

    I feel the pain of the entire universe grip my core,
    I send my cry into the void.

    Silence is the reply.
    That, and the pounding of my own heart,
    the percussion in a symphony of pain.

    The brutality of the world seeps through my gossamer skin.
    I have no natural defenses,
    every cell in my body IS pain.

    Those who cannot understand
    would compel me to swallow hideous little white pills
    whose purpose is to sanitize me into oblivion-
    thirty milligrams per day of conformity.

    It was Thomas who said,
    “If you bring forth what is within you,
    what you bring forth will save you.
    If you do not bring forth what is within you,
    what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”

    I will bring it forth, and it will destroy me anyway.

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    Author Bio

    la fee brune
    Opium fiend, bon vivant, and all-around pain in the ass.

    Annoying others since 1982.


  1. JonBenetMom
    This is really really fantastic. Thank you so much for sharing such a deep piece of your writing with us.
  2. la fee brune
    Thank you for your supportive comment. I've been feeling particularly melancholy the past few days, so I dug this up and posted it on here since I was in a similar sort of mood when I wrote it. It's very difficult to attempt something which requires intense, sustained effort (like a novel) when the endeavor is completely solitary (as it is for me). There isn't much of a precedent for what I'm writing, so there aren't even a lot of other authors' works for me to turn to for philosophical comfort. Half the time, I feel relatively positive about what I'm writing, and half the time I want to give up completely.
  3. idfma
    Perro, that's exactly how,writing is supposed to work. :).

    It's that doubt that pushes you to work it and work it and work it again until it's exactly what you want.

    Very nice piece. Don't give up--use the doubt as motivation. EXCELLENT piece.
  4. la fee brune
    Thank you for the compliment. I appreciate it. It's hard to stick to my creative vision because the moral impetus of my writing is completely idiosyncratic. I just don't have a frame of reference for what I'm writing, and that makes it feel very lonely sometimes. I do appreciate all of the wonderful support that I'm getting on here, though. Thanks, guys. :)
  5. fotia
    Yep, love it. Also I used to write almost daily and now I never write so I know what you're saying
  6. stayallday
    Don't give up! It's great stuff. Melancholy is my friend too! Will you please read my poem?

    I was wondering what you think about destorying poems you've written. Sometimes I write stuff (always privately), then I destroy it, then some weeks or months later I think back and wonder if it was in fact quite good, but I'll never know because I can't remember it hahaha.
    Good poem, by the way.
  7. la fee brune
    No, I don't really destroy stuff anymore. I used to do this when I was younger, though. I don't hate my own work as much as I used to, but I still don't like it most of the time. I'll send you an invitation to my "Literary Salon" group, and you can post your poetry there to get feedback from the other members. :)
  8. stayallday
    Thanks, will do.
  9. aemetha
    I also like it. I can assure you your poetry doesn't come across as self-indulgent or pretentious. Is your poetry group still active? I wouldn't mind getting back into writing a bit.
  10. la fee brune
    It isn't terribly active, but maybe you could liven it up a bit. I'll send you an invitation to join. :)
  11. leo nard
    i like it! it is simple structured and has a rather simple subject , but it is honest and powerful in getting through the reader.
    the reason why most artists aren't satisfied with their creations is because once you feel the Epiphany you struggle to put it to words/shape/colors but never actualy come even close to the magnificence of your vision.
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