sharp realisation of swims predicament.

  1. greeneyedmonster
    saturday arrived as usual and swim made his way to the train station ,mid morning ,foggy cold ,but nothing out of the his book till the train arrived, 15mins later was walking toward the same chemist that swim had used for 8 or so years,to collect his methadone .swim had managed to stay away from smack heads and dealers for well over 6 yrs and meth had become like as natural as breathing .a good relationship with swims councellor and never giving dirty urine tests had seen to it that swim was a star at his community drug team(compared with other users that is). The pharmacist was a young blonde pretty looking thing with about as much life experience as an apprentice hairstylist,she finished her degree and played everything by the book (i think the term is "jobsworth") as usual she asked swim for his address in the same suspicious way that she did every week and had for the past 18 months,forgetting that she had seen swim every week and she knew exactly who swim was .she then searched for swims perscription after a brief fruitless search she informed swim that there was no script there and swim would have to go without !!in a shrug of the shoulders and a "not my fault" look she said sorry in the same way as if she had been asked for vitamins that were sold out.At this point swim ,who had done the same routine for 8 yrs and who was frantically asking her to "look again "and "this cant be right,can you call someone ,you know me ! ive been coming here years". swim was told that nothing could be done and it was probably lost in the post, no big deal just wait till monday!!
    swim was now seething with anger and called a friend who said they would help and if swim could hang on an hour they would "sort swim out". swim sat in the pub and for the first time truly realised that his life was fully in the hands of others and that swim had been lazy and weak !swim considered himself to be one of the strong ones who got out of heroin abuse and who,d turned their life around and was now "normal" just as long as they got their state sponsored fix in the was at this point swim stopped looking at methadone as medicine and started to see it as it really is,a vicious green noxious liquid that can really mess things up for you! swim thought back to the times when meth was blessed relief and saviour at once ,now as of 3 days ago swim has decided to make a concious effort to drop his 72 ml daily dose to as low as possible ,it is now at 65 ml and for the past 3 days it has not been a problem . later that day swims friend came thru for him and although it cost swim 50quid in all,swim was ok and picked up his script on monday with the apologies of his councellor who admitted that a mistake had been made . the fact is that if you pick up your juice on saturday in britain and for some reason your script isnt there ,then you are shat out of luck as the medical profession closes on friday afternoon and arises monday morn.this is no good for swim who then has to ponce about ringing smackheads and such to get sorted. swim knows whats ahead of him now.he felt like smashing the chemists shop to pieces and dragging blondie out by her hair and biting her throat out . swim is sick of the way self rightous chemists look at swim as they give him his script with the " look at the druggie scumbag "expression ,like someone smeared dogmuck on their top lip. any way rant over!! but in all seriousness swim is taking a long hard look at himself and is going to face his worst fears and try and take this methadone monster on , as said earlier i have dropped to 65 ml but am perscribed 72 ml daily,swim has to see his councellor today and will tactfully try to make her see his side . if any body reads this ill keep it updated regularly .

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  1. ScorpioSunshine
    Swim has read swiy's rant and will be thinking about swiy and wishing him well.

    Swim can understand why swiy was so frustrated. What a completely fucked situation!!

    That being said, swim enjoyed the bit of "rant humor" while reading swiy's post. :hug:
  2. stephy171072
    Swim also enjoyed reading this adn again wishes you luck. Swim actually felt some anger when reading the blonde womans reaction to your script not being there, swim would get so angry if that happened to her. Swim also found your blog very interesting for reasons to do with herself. Swim is addicted to heroin and has been trying to cut down and stuff, had a few failed cold turkeys and is going to an appointment at a rehab on Tuesday. Swim has never liked the sound of going on a methadone script for the very reasons that you have stated there. She has taken methadone now and again just to ease wd's but never really liked the idea of going on an actual script even though most of her friends had done so and never had a bad word to say about it, so swim really did find it interesting to read that someone who had done it felt some of the same things she did.
  3. Ilsa
    please do update! this situation must have been terribly frustrating, but swiy has reached a pivotal realization and made a (tough) decision to be done wth it. swim has weaned off on methadone and it's not easy, but so worth it! congrats on your decision, there are a lot of ppl here who are rooting for you. all the best and namaste
  4. trixion
    Tough day swim's supposed. Have swiy thought of like improving the relationship between you and that blonde. Swim likes to have a closer relationship with the shops he always go...simple greeting and asking how's ur day or had your lunch? Things like that might gave that blonde a better impression in you as a regular. Who knows swiy might step in the shop one day and the blonde will be crying out.."As per normal for you? Mr XxxX "? The lost item that is so impt to swiy might be useless but just a normal piece of paper afterall.. Great writeup dude...!
  5. Master_Khan
    Yes good luck with the realization....maintaining the status quo is just no good when your fate is in the hands of insensitive dullards whose incompetence is your pain. Best wishes!
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