So that's me.

By DocBrock · May 3, 2012 ·
  1. DocBrock
    I came to today. Just for a few seconds.
    -I- was there. Razor mind[1], articulate, genial. All the eyes in the room on me for a second or so, and I didn't panic.
    I liked what I felt. I liked being me. That is what I used to be. Full access to my vocabulary. Clear pronunciation, perfect prosody. No shakes. The shakes had gone!.
    The shakes came back. The fog came back. The time spazzing came back.
    I liked what I was though. Liked it a lot. Me. Clean.
    Wished I was better dressed and had a shave though. Felt a bit of a slob.
    One morning a week with this group as part of -my- rehab. Perfect clarity came this morning. Goodbye storm.

    Kinda spoiled it by blacking out shortly after I'd finished speaking. I was only gone for a second, but I felt it as an eternity. A limbo.

    Hey ho. It feels like I'm off on another blackout, but now I've felt -me- again, I'm going to fight it.

    Worse sodding WD's ever, and am-2201 amplifies it. My Valium taper bit me on the arse. I forgot last nights 2mg. 4am and I'm in withdrawal. That has to be too fast. Some of it must have been due to the 2201, but that horrid Valium WD dominated. Oh, I hate the tics, the nodouts. Caught it before it became full seizure though. Felt it building. 2mg and felt it receding. A fear wave rumbling towards. A tsunami building in the deep oceans. Subtle, powerful, gaining in magnitude as it approaches. 2mg quelled it, calmed it and led to a normal tide.

    I came to.

    [1]Relative values here

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