What do you do when your doctor tells you there's nothing left to try?
Truth is there are many things left to try. Ketamine, Modafinil, Amphetamines, Gabapentin, Opioids, microdosing LSD. All of these have anecdotal and in some case double blind studies showing successful treatment of anxiety and/or treatment resistant depression. The fact that they are so afraid to do anything that is slightly unusual is very frustrating. I'm not asking for recreational doses, I just want a therapeutic dose of things that haven't been tried yet. I've been through every standard treatment, the non-standard ones are being denied me.
So today, I stop taking all of my prescribed psychoactive drugs. They aren't helping me, I'm in the same place I have been for months now. Maybe not taking them will help me.
I'm still going to use poppy seed tea, it helps with both depression and anxiety more than anything else I've ever had. I don't plan to use it all the time though, I will use it on the days things are really tough. I don't ever plan to increase my dose, I've successfully detoxed off it a couple of times, and I plan to do that periodically if my tolerance rises to the point where it starts becoming ineffective.
I'm still going to use cannabis for insomnia. Again, it just works better than anything else I've tried.
I never sought illicit drugs really. I tried every legal avenue first. The truth everyone likes to dance around is that illicit drugs work better than the legal ones. They are more dangerous and carry more of a risk of addiction in some cases, but they do work.
I'm going to keep trying to get better, I really don't know where to turn next though. Where is the harm in trying things? Especially when there are proven records of efficacy. Maybe I should source these things illicitly and test the effectiveness. Might need to put a test kit on my shopping list.