Some things you probably don't know about

By kalishakti · Mar 8, 2013 ·
  1. kalishakti
    Transsexuals and the transgendered

    The most difficult part of being TSTG is dealing with the social ostracism, ridicule, harassment, and hostility of others.

    Once hypothesized to be exceedingly rare in the population, more contemporary estimates are something on the order of 1 in 500 people are TSTG. This number accounts for the social stigma which leads many to conceal the truth of their reality from those around them, which earlier estimates failed to account for. The TSTG persons you do see, are only the tip of the iceberg! Some are stealth.. they "pass" sufficiently well that for all intents and purposes, they are invisible to you. Others maintain the facade of normalcy, and express themselves honestly in privacy, living dual-lives.

    Many TSTG persons involve themselves in very macho professions, as part of the reactionary attempt to hide their true self as protection from dealing with people's reactions. Seeing the kinds of reactions we routinely get, can you blame us?

    Cis-gendered (normative gender identity) persons often are outraged when a transperson publicly "changes" in becoming their actual real authentic self. They always were this person their whole life, they are just now allowing you to perceive it. Many of us knew this from a very young age.. oftentimes by 4 or 5 years old, but learned from the reactions of others that is was safer to keep it hidden. Sorry you were "fooled" but this is what we often must do just to survive youth and young adulthood.

    Nobody challenges your gender expression as a cisgender, what makes you think you have any right whatsoever to dictate to others how they express their identity to feel comfortable in their own skin? Why do some people think their "beliefs" or "feelings" trump that person's right to live THEIR life as they must to be happy and fulfilled?

    Similarly, some people are outraged that transpersons should dare to openly exist as they truly are. These people don't have the slightest clue what sort of inner turmoil, rage, self-loathing, and suicidal depression transpeople suffer as a consequence of hiding who they truly are. The cis gendered take their identity for granted and without thought or reflection, because the world does not attack them for simply being who they are. The price transpeople pay for social ostracism and hostility, and/or having to pretend they are something other than what they are to avoid the hostility are exceedingly high suicide and substance abuse rates. Publicly transitioning removes the inner turmoil, and often immediately resolves related substance abuse patterns. Similar patterns can be seen in self-repressing homosexuals, and similarly usually resolve once they give up playing pretend for the sake of others and relax and just express their true self.

    You might not have to think about it when you need to use a bathroom to relieve yourself, but for TSTG's it is not always so simple. Lacking access to a unisex private bathroom (truly the best solution) we are forced to pick from the gender binary of Men/Women, and we may be harassed as supposed perverts for using one, and possibly physically beat up for using the other. When you have to defecate or urinate, really, you just want to get done and back on your way. Supporting unisex bathrooms really is not so complicated, and makes life less complicated for us all.

    I hope some of this gives some food for consideration and empathy. All the cis gendered may see of it is whether one looks sexy, or attractive, or think it is somehow a perversion. It really isn't, it is really a simple matter of personal survival, and expressing the Right of an individual to be their authentic self without being harassed or attacked. Is that really so much to ask?

    Also consider, we know a lot of things cis gendered do not.. for many of us have walked on both sides... we know how both men and women think and relate, psychologically, socially, emotionally, psychologically, sexually, from both angles. You might find we can offer a lot of understanding and insight that might be impossible to discern from the "normal" perspective.

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