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  1. notgonnabelikethatguy
    My money is all gone. My friends don't want to know me. My family disregard me. My job is at risk. My health has hit an all time low. Every time I pick up my pipe, my life changes for the worse. I smoke myself away, day in, day out. I can see the impacts so damn clearly, but I'm not stopping. That doesn't give me the push I need to fix myself. Nothing seems to be able to get through to me. I just kinda accepted that this is me know. People call me a junkie. That's okay. I am.
    But however bad my life may be, I'm right when I say I don't see it that way. I like it. I'm content. I'm stronger and I have control over something in my life now. I crave the feeling of tingles from the rush, the spontaneous head spins, the power it gives me. While nothing is really OK, I feel like everything is.
    Come here Pippy.. <3

Comments

  1. raronhia
    hello, welcome to the site and this like the first step to healing is knowing when to find support and we are hear to listen. I can tell you a little horror story. I was in my late 30's when I met a new friend, but after a short period I found out he had a drug addiction and his drug of choice was smoking crack cocaine. I never seen it or knew the effects it has on people. I allowed him to use in my house where I knew he would be safe. With his paranoid side effects he felt safe with me there. Since this can be a very long story I will get to the high lights. during his usage he ran out of money and started borrowing from me or stealing it. I thought I could embarrass him to stop. I agreed to get some for him but he had to insert a tampon into hit bum and used electrical tape as a diaper was the first. second I had him drink a small bottle of cod liver oil and took him in the middle of nowhere and dropped him off. third save one eyebrow I thought this would work since his appearance was so important him. But made him walk the mall and act like it nothing wrong. I KNOW I'm sick puppy but it was so funny. He even suggested idea wearing women panties while holding a dildo. lol But crack had to strong of hold. I've always told him he will quit when he is ready even he enjoyed so much. and that he needs to bottom out first. which he felt he has many times but I told know cause I was always there for you and seen the real person inside that I see from time to time. The last time he felt he bottomed out he called and I didn't answer now he was alone his family didn't want anything to do with him. Weeks later he called I asked are you ready to quit and he said yes. Now the healing begins its a life time of trial and error he will fail but not give up and keep trying. this was over a 4 year period and I left out a lot of things sad, happy, funny as hell well to me it was. and a few horror, but I am here to tell my story. thanks for reading. you reached out because you found no in your life can help or understand, but this is where we remain. Over all the rough times you have all the hard times, but this is where we remain. When your voice seemed to fall on deaf ears, but this is where we remain. Thru all your sad times, or your crying times, you coming down time withdraw time, but this is where we remain with open arms, warm heart felt hugs and ears that listen without judgment, this is where we remain. we all have a story and this is your time to talk and us to listen. welcome and remember we are here at all times.
  2. BreakingGood
    The only thing missing is an interest or a hobby. I'm into history. You?
  3. Mr Bumble
    There was a time I tried to tell myself I was happy being a junkie and if only I could get my DOC on prescription I'd have no problems. Well got the next best thing to my DOC on script and swithced from Heroin to IV morphine, it turns out having a cheap and ready supply of legal drugs didn't solve my problems.

    Shit I've never even tried meth, only the gay boys take it in the UK, it's not a big deal over here, so got no idea what the addictions like, but hope you can find that bit of yourself that aint a junkie, it's in there, just you've got it on lock down right now.
  4. notgonnabelikethatguy
    Hey man, sorry I've been offline a lot. Thanks heaps for commenting and opening up, respect. I hope you're going alright :) or something close enough haha.
    I'm still burying my emotions with gear, pretty much the reason I started anyway, but I've made 2 (unsuccessful but they still count) attempts to quit recently, I actually lasted so much more the second time. I went from a tiny bit on a Sunday then stayed off it until the Friday. It probably just sounds pathetic, but nah I'm actually proud cause I have never made it past day 3 before.. Baby steps :thumbsup:
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