sometimes i write

By no eff eks · Apr 23, 2012 · ·
  1. no eff eks
    songs... or hopefully eventually songs. i don't like poetry, and i don't think i'm much of a poet anyway... so here's a bunch of stuff i wrote over the last year or so. yeah, i'm kinda angry/resentful/delusional, but if you're not then you're just not paying attention.

    some of this is pretty bad... some make more sense than others... some are more better than some that aren't (more better)...


    my name is asshole

    my name is brooks i've been fucked up since 1984
    but these days i claim i don't do drugs no more
    but i'm gonna buy some sketchy pills from india or mexico
    at least it isn't heroin or coke
    my name is brooks and i am an asshole

    i'm sick of this i don't think i can fucking deal no more
    cuz every time i win get knocked back to the floor
    so i'm finding sketchy white powders, designer drugs super obscure
    i'm gonna sniff and smoke and snort and snort
    my name is brooks and this is my life's work


    we totally landed on a moon of saturn

    please excuse me while i plead to you
    dwell on the tragedies of my life
    and it will sound like intellectuallization
    of a selfish sad and drug addicted mind

    my dad's an alcoholic, so i can't stop doing drugs
    i'm sure everybody hates me, so i can't stop doing drugs
    a two time college drop-out, so i can't stop doing drugs
    can't even write a good song, so i can't stop doing drugs

    it's not the alcohol that does it to me
    booze just makes me fee like shit
    for the sketchy pills and powder drugs
    i have the biggest fucking hard-on

    no excuse for my actions, so i can't stop doing drugs
    always drive people away, so i can't stop doing drugs
    disgusted by society, so i can't stop doing drugs
    just a whiny fucking closet case, so i can't stop

    i can't stop, i can't help
    my life, my heartache, my hate, my fear, my tears, these years
    i can't stop it all, this shit just needs to end
    i can't stop doing drugs
    i won't stop


    clueless cunt

    would you shut the fuck up little girl
    back the fuck off or watch me hurl
    verbal barbs that bruise a fragile ego
    probably best for both of us if i go

    ironic arrogance infuriating me
    then in my face for questioning
    would you grow up fucking baby
    your attitude needs changing

    spread your negativity to everyone around you
    do you even know we all talk shit about you
    fact is you're a cunt and everyone else knows
    i considered you a friend now just want you to go

    just shut the fuck up and get out of my face
    imaginary problems just... ugh... shut the fuck up



    bitter resent

    well i'm wondering how
    many more times i'll show up
    for demonstrations that
    you don't care i am there
    not many

    i'm not a mirror for your scene
    so you can just ignore me
    just biding my time waiting
    for the next awkward meeting
    not funny

    yes i tried to sing along
    to feel some compassion
    it's not easy nor
    good enough for me

    make sure you say goodbye
    the next time that we meet


    better resent

    Well I wonder how many times
    I will show up for you at
    Demonstrations you don't care
    That I'm there, not many

    Hey hey I try to sing along
    To feel you feel compassion
    It's not really fair to me
    It's not good enough you see

    I am wondering how many
    More times I will put up
    With your demonstrations
    You don't even want me there
    Not friendly

    I'm done sitting around
    I don't mean to bring you down
    We were never friends
    I guess we'll never be
    I don't need this or you
    Certainly don't need me

    Make sure you say goodbye
    The next time you don't see me
    It will make up my mind
    The next time you ignore me


    sxe sucks

    hey buddy are you human
    beings like sex and doing
    drugs that still look inviting
    i laugh as i see you fighting

    urges that you think have passified
    yet you're just as fucked inside
    it's all flailing can't you see
    straight edge doesn't impress me

    i'm fucked up inside like you
    you're fucked up too
    we're not so different
    straight edge dude...

    i'm fucked up on drugs and
    you pushed everyone away
    like me you're different
    straight edge dude

    i fucked a straight edge slut
    as he listened to minor threat
    shoved cocaine up his nose
    ruphied him and stole his clothes

    mephedrone well it made me smile
    marijuana is still my rational
    for all this stupid shit i do
    hey straight edge dude,
    i still laugh at you

    MDPV had stolen my soul but
    i fought back and i'm better for
    the lessons learned a year before
    sleepless nights forced me to know

    just what's in my soul
    you'll never get to know


    goodbye my friend

    he never thought it would end
    my friend just relapsed again
    who ever thought that it would end
    deluded wasted potential, he falls...
    it's sad my friend

    nobody can pick you up this time
    yet it's burning in their minds
    knowing little wishing for the best
    reality in the feeling you've lost

    and it's sad my friend
    shit it needs to end
    but i know you're lying
    that you won't relapse again
    it's sad my friend

    what happened to you

    grasp at vague flashes of great yet replaced views of this ingrate
    still withdrawn function addiction to thoughts and feelings lost my son

    what are you waiting for you see it ending
    you're procrastinating hate from long ago now fading

    into the distance staggering drunk yeah right he's medicating
    that wound on his back unhealed in time because of thoughts and memories

    they're fleeting
    he's still bleeding
    it's still bleeding
    i'm leaving


    who do you think you are

    so fucking what so what if i get high
    said so what? well they all treat me like a fucking outcast
    and i'm so tired of this it's fucking bullshit
    i keep crying in my head i don't deserve this

    now i say fuck you, fuck you and fuck me point your finger where you please i'm not dumb it's no disease
    life that's sadly much more interesting through chemistry

    you think i'm fucked up i get it well it's mine my fucking life
    i'll waste it and enjoy it fuck you, fuck you and fuck me

    learning from my own mistakes as if sincere guidance was always in shortage ironic self-reliance just teen angst and defiance

    fuck absolutes fuck illusions
    fuck society fuck sobriety
    fuck my life it's my right

    maybe i'll die but i wont try
    someday i'll die and likely be high


    you're a whiny baby

    nobody feels sorry for you but yourself
    nobody needs to cry for you but yourself
    but you really don't you just hate
    them all yourself the world
    well fuck you and fuck them
    just mostly
    go fuck yourself

    you're a crybaby
    well no one cares
    go fuck yourself
    you're doing a good job


    el vivo rock

    just sit here on my bed
    hallucinations from the drugs
    come and go and go
    just like my mind
    like mind mind
    come and goes and go

    say thank you to cannabinoids
    say thanks to pharmaceuticals
    bye bye to reality

    mind mind it comes and goes
    my mind it goes and go and goes

    go go vivo go go go go
    go go i live it goes and goes

    minimum wage

    well i'm doing fine so i say fuck you
    it's just thanks to you and in spite of you
    i can say to you i'm fucking fine
    doing just fine

    has effort ever been enough
    thankless struggle yeah it's tough
    though it was you now it's me too

    who do we hate who do we thank
    doesn't even matter i don't know but
    i'm fucking fine you'll see in time
    doing just fine

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  1. no eff eks
    Here's a link to my sorta attempt at turning the last song into something like music... It needs a lot of work, but enjoy.

    Minimum Wage
  2. no eff eks
    i'm going to keep adding stuff to this as i write it... check back later, it'll maybe get better someday?
  3. no eff eks
    so here's another song... it's a lot better than the other one above (which I haven't touched since the night I recorded the acoustic song skeleton... someday)

    anyway this song is "my name is asshole" and the band i'm in play a punk version, sadly recording a live band with an iphone results in something completely unlistenable.
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