Starting over once again and scared

By ZenobiaSky · May 23, 2012 · ·
  1. ZenobiaSky
    As Flossy the Cow, once again heads down the road of recovery we decided it was best to just start a blog. A journal if you will to help her through this, and since there is a lot of background for you to get the full picture of what is going on. I’ve read many posts and such and still can’t seem to find an answer, and maybe there isn’t one.
    History of Flossy the Cow: As a young Cow Flossy knew she had problems different than other cows, showing self-harm behaviors, and signs of an eating disorder. Some of these problems would later be diagnosed as Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, and Anxiety Disorder. While in high school she experimented with several drugs, too make it easy let’s say she tried just about everything but heroin and X. After several years had passed Flossy ended up in a new heard of Cows where her cow friends talked her into going off her meds, which she did and led her into a life of addiction to meth, along with abusing a few other drugs. Then she went on an MAOI, and felt that was her savior, cause you can’t do amphetamines on an MAOI without stroking out or having a heart attack. Over the years she started having problems with chronic back pain and became dependent on Hydrocodone, as the years passed a few more medical problems popped up which lead to the diagnosis of an Autoimmune disorder taking 10yrs to diagnose which one it was. Until one day she cracked, it was decided the MAOI was no longer doing its job, and it was time to switch her regime of meds. Her psychiatrist started her on Ritalin 80mg a day, (yes let’s put the ex-meth addict on methylphenidate), didn’t take long before that Cow was abusing it, snorting it justifying this with the side effects aren’t as bad, and taking more than she should. I should also mention the other realm of drugs that she is now on, Cymbalta 90mg, Neurontin 1600mg, buspar 30mg, clonazepam 2mg, Seroquel 450mg, Lortab 7.5mg/500, prednisone 5mg (and numerous other meds that don’t relate to this). Along the way abusing oxycontin till the well ran dry. One day Flossy realizes that she is doing more than 80mg of Ritalin a day and decides to supplement with meth, (because she’s an ex-addict and can control it). That’s a cow’s thinking for you. Now she has a nice little habit, alternating between meth, and crack…. When she can’t get either she mixes her Ritalin with a little of Adderall, and will attempt anyway possible to get that high she had, but not having much luck smoking Ritalin. After finally being diagnosed with Ankolysing Spondolytis,(similar to Rheumatoid Arthritis), she knows the meds she has to go on will help immensely with a lot of her other medical problems, and knows once this is started, there is no more use of alcohol or recreational drugs. Today she was started on a small dose of Methotrexate, a chemo drug, taken once a week. And that’s the short version lol.

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  1. knightsmith
    Just wanted to say id took the time to read your blog. I fell off my chair and hit my wheel though when I found out USA gives amphetamines out (adderall). I really didn't know that.
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