SWIM decided to write a blog because he wanted to be able to ramble about the thoughts he's been having about drugs as of late, many of these shaped by experiences with people and with new drugs especially psychedelics.
SWIM thinks agrees totally cannabis is not a physically addictive drug, but he's recently admitted to himself something he's been trying to deny for a long time SWIM is psychologically addicted to cannabis. It's not that he can't smoke for a few days sometimes even a week, but during this time he get's really moody and irritable mainly because if he's not stoned he starts feeling bored and cannabis seems to be the ultimate cure for SWIM's boredom better than the internet or the television. But SWIM is now at the point where buying cannabis seems to be his number one priority. SWIM will often go hungry just so he can afford to smoke for the week, SWIM lives off a terrible diet of value pizzas and pot noodles so SWIM has enough money for his daily smoke.
The second problem SWIM has with cannabis is that it's so beneficial to his life in some aspects that things go down hill with out it. SWIM can never sleep until really late at night and has had this problem for as long as he can remember, this leads to getting up in the morning being trickier, which has been the cause of loss of jobs and being thrown out of education due to low attendance. But if SWIM has a smoke in the evening he'll be asleep by eleven at the latest and up bright and breezey at 7am, but to sustain this daily habit it's costing SWIM alot and he doesn't think he can keep it up.
SWIM also feels he's become obsessed with drugs, SWIM finds it hard to stay off the topic of drugs during conversation, or most things in his life are someway associated with drugs wheather it be the movies he's watching or the music he's listening to he always enjoys things more when they're about drugs, in a way it could be called sad, but SWIM is sure he could be turning it into something productive, SWIM is after reading this forum thinking of changing to science so he can learn about how the brain works in relation to drugs something he only has a really basic understanding of, But this again is only an intrest for SWIM because it's got something to do with drugs, it's not a concious descision but SWIM's inadvertantly ended up like that and the thought of changing that feels an impossibility to SWIM. SWIM is starting to feel that in someways drugs are a blessing and a curse, it's something that SWIM loves but at times also loathes and it's something SWIM feels that if he ever wanted to he couldn't escape from, not because SWIM is an addict but because SWIM would have to change everything, his friends (who he is very close to) most likely his taste in films, where he goes and what he does at weekends, and this huge change is something that SWIM doesn't think he will ever make happen.
Next SWIM's experiences with magic mushrooms have really opened his minds to the wonders of psychedelics. SWIM found it what mushrooms allowed him to do was comprehend things much more easily, for instance on one of his recent trips he could see what a small blip human existance has been on the planet, he could so easily understand and comprehend how old the earth truly was.
SWIM also found that he wanted to reconnect with nature and the old ways of life, he sometimes finds houses and walls (and occasionally even clothes) confining.
Of course not everything SWIM works out on a trip should be taken seriously but SWIM has come to truly believe that psychedelic drugs are much more powerful than many people can comprehend not just in their physical and psycholigical effects but as tools for understanding more about, who we our, where we are and what we are. Our species has evolved alongside these chemicals and SWIM believes they may hold huge amounts of information.
SWIM also saw how psychedelics could be an advantage to the species as SWIM has found his hearing and his sight become much better when on mushrooms. SWIM has found several times he can see things going on with his eyes shut like being able to see people walk across a room. Or hear music in such a clear and detailed way.
The best thing they did for SWIM was when looking into a mirror SWIM had a truly life changing experience, he was able to see himself as other people could see him, he could see what he looked like on a much deeper level than he's ever experienced before and post trip this improved SWIM's self esteem and self identity a huge amount.
The third drug SWIM would like to talk about is mephedrone, SWIM's experiences with mephedrone have been in most regards positive (apart from one episode of bluey purple legs and bad pain in his right leg lasting for several days). But SWIM feels he's a pretty experienced user, he does his research and he's gradually increased the range of substances he uses over a number of years, SWIM would see mephedrone as a drug that is a hard drug compared to cannabis or proper MDMA. SWIM's friends are also much like this and are reasonabley sensible when it comes to powerful drugs, it's also taken many years to build decent contacts and to be able to get hold of such a variety of drugs SWIM feels this gradual increase in drugs use has given him much more awareness of what drugs actually are. But now SWIM is seeing people who've never even smoked cannabis being introduced to powerful drugs such as mephedrone, before even trying milder drugs such as cannabis they're basically being thrown in at the deep end and SWIM doesn't feel they have the adequate experience and knowledge to cope with these drugs, SWIM thinks this is mainly down to their being lack of education and honest open advice, like SWIM see's regularly on drugs forum and other harm reduction sites.
I don't really know where I was going with this just wanted to write some things down, I find writing things can help me think them over better, and maybe some may find it an intresting read.
Thanks for reading if you got this far.
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