Taking a break. Not ready to stop.

  1. Paperthinheart
    Currently haven't used since a little bump about 36 hours ago. I thought I'd be struggling with depression and anxiety and other difficulties and I'd feel like crap. I stressed over it.

    But I feel good. I feel like myself more. I was becoming confused and foggy headed. Trapped in my head. Weird feeling. I'm really happy actually, that what I feared wasn't the case. There's still time for that to change though of couse. Maybe tapering helped? Hard to say.

    So for that (not feeling myself) and several other reasons it was definitely time for a break. I'm planning to wait at the very least another 2 days so it'll be my days off with enough time to come down before going back to work.

    I'm excited to see what my high will be like. I was just kinda doing small amounts, tiny really, and not getting high but maintaining a boost of energy. And I don't want to use like that. I want to be able to get high. If all I'm doing is putting off a comedown or making it through work, all while losing myself, that's not any fun. Why do it then?

    So I NEED breaks. Duh. But it doesn't sink in until I figure that out through experience, even though I already knew that.

    So on Saturday when I get off work I'll evaluate how I feel and see. But I'm really excited for it, so realistically I probably won't wait longer than that. I can't lie to myself.

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