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    PLEASE HELP
  1. Egyaddict
    I will try to document here tapering 16 mg buperenorphine (subutex) which I am stable on coming from a very big daily heroin addiction that reached 4 grams of daily IV heroin, one year ago
    I am stable on 16 mg subutex (buperenorphine), which I snort in the beginning of the day, 4 mg then afte an hour another 4 mg and so on till 16 mg (I know snorting is not a good sign, but still snorting 16 mg of subs beats heroin slavery by a million step)
    One week ago, I decided to tapper subs but I want to make it with no withdrawals,
    Today is my forth day on 12 mg, I also take them the same way, snorting 4 mg at the time till reaching 12 mg
    On my forth day I feel completely fine and normal, frankly till now I did not feel that I dropped the dose from 16 to 12 mg
    The details will be updated in comments

Comments

  1. Egyaddict
    On 29.12 I had a very bad day, while I felt no need to take more than the 12mg, I took 20,
    U think I felt something that day, I was more talkative and better spirit lifted and even nodded a bit, which was strange or may be I forgot how real nodding was....but all is good
    The day after I felt totally fine when I returned back to 12 mg again
  2. Egyaddict
    On 31.12, I took 12 mg however felt sick all day
    I thought I was catching a virus or something but when I took additional 4 mg at night, making the total of the day 16mg, I felt much better and ready to go to the new year part
    Happy new year everyone
    The rapper will be the new year resolution
  3. Cwb20022
    Hey egyaddict

    Just wanted to say your doing great. I'm finding it very hard to stick to suboxone. I've actually grown to hate it. But hell 20 years is a long time. And to be where you are now is a feat in its own.

    Can i ask was there a particular reason to quit? That's a problem i have. I have no real reason besides finances. Which i have no problem blowing every last penny on junk.

    Well just wanted to congratulate you. You doing really well. I'll keep up on your story. It's very inspiring.

    Peace.
  4. Egyaddict
    "Cwb20022" thank you very much for your nice words bro, I really wish for you to find your own pass and for everyone struggling
    Actually, about 1 year ago I reached a very bad point in my life; I had to use 4 grams of heroin IV per day just to be normal. I was not getting high anymore. I lost all my veins and I was in a deep shit every morning waking up in withdrawal and trying desperately to get a shot. I spent huge amounts of money which I did not mind at the time but it had its effects. Then my friend died of heroin in his sleep. He was my age, with wife and kids like me. I was not able to sleep every single night afraid that I will not wake up.
    On top of all that, there is no such thing as a replacement program in my country. So I had a once in a life time shot when I got myself on a subs program in another country. It happened for me once, if I screw it, it will not happen again
    I guess it is a lot of things combined that made me fight addiction, but mostly: I do not want to die
    Good luck for you and everyone else in this struggle
  5. Egyaddict
    A little update on my tapering of subutex
    After last entry, I stayed about 10 days on my usual 16 mg, and also renewed my prescription for 16 mg/ day for three more months
    One week ago I started taking 12 mg once again, and I have been completely normal the whole week, as if I am using 16 mg
    I will stay on 12 mg some more days and when I can I will try to take it to 8 or 10 mg
    The most important thing I learned with subutex is to listen to your body not your mind
    If your body is ok, then you are ok, do not overthink it
  6. Egyaddict
    More than 10 days and I am on 12 mg / day
    The thing that bothers me a lot is that I am still a drug addict
    I can not imagine myself off subutex; I am pretty sure I would relapse to Heroin, shit! I did not touch heroin in more than 7 month but still the same troubled person
    Of course subs have done wonder for me, but I did not heal from the inside
    This questions the reason of tapering subs.
    I can see myself using 4 mg/day but I can not see myself subs free, cause simply I will relapse
    It is this back and for thoughts that is preventing me to decrease the dose further, but I hope in a week or so I could reach 8-10 mg, then stay in them for a while
    The main reasons I want to be stable on 4 mg: first: it would be more practical and less expensive, as in my special case I travel more than 3000 km to see a doctor and get the subs (travel between countries), second: it would be easier (I hope) to finally quit subs, if this ever happens if I am on 4 mg rather than 16 mg
  7. Egyaddict
    I was stable on 12mg/day, then last week out of nowhere I had these very strong desire to shoot heroin, it lasted for a few days then peaked at one night where I actually called my dealer but he told me to wait up till the morning
    I had this incredible battle inside me the whole night, and with no one to resort to; I luckily resorted to this forum, where I did get a lot of support, but still the battle was my own battle. In the morning somehow I got the power to delete my dealer number and turned off my phone for the whole day. At night I found out that he did call me 5 times during that day, as expected
    Now, I ruled out completely the idea of tapering subs and I am back to 16 mg/day and some days even 20 mg
    I started also to use occasionally some benzos; I have too much stress at work and that makes me want to escape for even an hour; I try to do whatever it takes to stay away from heroin. I simply can not afford a relapse at that age and after such a battle with heroin
  8. Cwb20022
    Hey man, that's great you were able to fight your cravings. Your still doing really good. Don't worry about rushing things or thinking of coming off the suboxone. You don't want to relapse. I'll be on suboxone or some form of matnience med for the rest of my life. Same dose 16 mg a day. That's better then heroin.

    Just take it one day at a time. Don't rush. And be happy with yourself. I know i am. So don't beat yourself up. Your doing better then me. And you had a bigger habit then me. Your story will be inspiring to plenty in the future. It's inspiring to me.

    Good luck. Stay safe. Peace.
  9. Egyaddict
    Cwb20022: thank you for your support bro, it is a tough battle; but I tell you one thing; if you can stabilize on subs without using heroin that would be a giant step toward saving life; after that anything else is not that threatening; I wish you luck bro and hope you can take this step

    I discovered something this week that might be interesting for people on subs: as long as you still depend on subs to bring you a certain relief, it will be impossible to tapper but when you reach the point where you take the subs expecting zero effect, like taking an aspirin; the tapper would be much easier
  10. Egyaddict
    Finally, I have something to add, so a quick update
    I have been on 16 mg as usual and on 14/4, I decided to give it another go
    From the 14 till the 24 of April, I stabilized on 12 mg, finally for 10 days
    I felt comfortable enough then decided to make another cut
    The big question was to try 8 mg or 10 mg, but as much as I want to move with the tapper, I want to be as safe as possible and on the 25 th I went to 10 mg and have been on it since (4 days now)
    My plan now is to stay on 10 mg a couple more days then go to the 8 mg finally and rest at this dose for a couple of week or even a month, then resume
    My goal is to reach the 4 mg daily dose then stay on it as long as I need, may be I still need the protection and blocking effect of subs, and also the relief
    So let's take it baby steps and hope to stabilize now on 8 mg/day, after all, one year ago I was doing 3 to 4 grams of heroin per day, so there is hope
  11. Cwb20022
    Your doing. Great man. The only thing I can suggest is don't try and rush. You sound like your moving at a good pace though. My problem is I want instant results. And then I get frustrated when that doesn'thappen.


    Your doing good man. Keep going. I'm happy for you. :)
  12. Egyaddict
    Oh my God! It took long times and lots of trials but finally I stabilized at 8 mg!
    I know that this is the easiest step in tapering bupernorrphine but still; it was hard psychologically
    My main problem is that afte few days let's say at 10 or 12 mg; I fuck up for whatever reason either convince my self that I am withdrawing or craving or whatever and do like 24 mg for one or 2 days which fucks up the whole tapper schedule. This is the worst thing you can do if you plan to tapper bupernorrphine, in my mind
    Anyway, here I am almost 5 days straight on 8 mg
    I think I gave myself an extra push when I realized that it has been 1 full year since I used heroin, and here I am
    My next step should ideally be tapering to 4 mg, but I do not see this happening any time soon
  13. Egyaddict
    Bump
    Back to 16 mg.
    Long story
    Feeling defeated
  14. Cwb20022
    Dont feel defeated.

    If 16 mgs keeos you from using heroin. Then thats a win in my eyes. :)

    Cheer up. You not gonn be able to kick a serious addiction quickly. Its about just trying your best. And not getting down on relapses or whatever. Just get back up and keep going.

    Oh yeah btw. Ive been going strong for over 4 months on just methadone. No dope. Yeyeye.
  15. Egyaddict
    CWB20022; Congratulations man! I have been following your progress few months ago and I am glad that since you switched to Methadone; you have made great progress. Keep it up.
    Concerning myself; I was passing by a lot as I lost a very dear person to myself to a heroin overdose back in the summer. Few months have passed now and I am getting better, I think
    Last month I tapered to 12 mg and just 2 days ago I tapered once again to 8 mg. I hope to stay on that dose for at least a couple of month more and then will see how it goes. The thing is I feel that I still need the protection of bupernorphine to block heroin; and I am afraid that this protection will decrease so much on lower than 8 mg per day. So I am trying to stick to that at the moment and later will see how it goes
  16. Egyaddict
    Still on 8 mg; my body is still not fully adjusted, but no physical withdrawals whatsoever when going from 16 to 12 mg and also for going from 12 to 8 mg; yet it is not that simple as the psychological factor is more into play
  17. Egyaddict
    Back to 12-16 mg again!
    Basically I faced a lot of problems and issues during the last period; facing similar problems in the past is what made me relapse to heroin a few years ago (for 2 years) after being 4 years opiate free.
    I guess the best thing I can do now is to stay where I am and forget about tapering bupernorphine for now
    Maybe in the future things will be better, but it seems that I will be taking this drug for a long period
  18. Egyaddict
    Well, that is new, since I was on 14/1 (12 days ago) on 16 mg, the strangest thing happened
    I was browsing DF as usual, as it is a daily habit for me and new couple of threads suggested that if someone tapered to a very low dose of bupernorphine, say 2mg or less, and maintain on that for sometime, then maybe if he one day uses 16-20 mg, he will get high for one day
    Although this is a big maybe and it will not necessarily happen, well some how that pushed me to tapper to maybe feel high once every month or so

    Obviously, my tapper now is for all the wrong reasons, but still as I plan to be on SUBUTEX for a long time, and currently I have no cravings for heroin whatsoever, i had the extra push that could help me tapper bupernorphine
    On the following day (15/1) I was back to 12 mg
    On 20/1; I cut it to 8 mg
    And finally on 25/1; I was able to get by only 6mg and today is a the second day on 6 mg
    I hope to stay on 6 mg for at least 5 more days and then hopefully I can go to 4mg
    I know that there is something wrong in me as the only push that made me tapper from 16mg to 6 mg in almost 2 weeks is the hope to get high one day, but as long as I am comfortable and stable and have no cravings for heroin, what the heck?!
    It would be a major step coming from 16mg to 4 mg for me, as this is the dose that I was always dreaming to reach.
    I know that with bupernorphine the tapper gets much harder at the very low doses, but still given that I had a 3-4 grams IV heroin addiction for years till may be 18 month ago, I think of this as a major improvement
    Best of luck to all the people struggling with opiate addition and tapper, it is a bitch
  19. Egyaddict
    I guess any one who has been reading this blog knows what my new update will be;
    Seriously! Take a guess!
    .
    .
    .
    Yes, back to 12-16 mg daily!
    Lol, after almost two years and I am still at the same dose I started with.
    I am not depressed yet, my life quality improved drastically during those 2 years. So can't complain.
    I just wish I could maintain on a lower dose, as everyone here is doing, but it seems to me that subutex is different than suboxone when it comes to tapering
    At no time I felt this "less is more" and even it is a very small difference between when I am on 12-16 compared to 6-8 mg, it seems that this difference is what is barely holding me.
    Well, I will try again after a while as I do not want to depress or frustrate myself
    Peace all!
  20. herioxone
    Im to at 16mg of subutex, also had a real big IV heroin habit. I just wanted you to know that your not alone with you're struggle, and what you're feeling. I have the same problems, and fears when it comes to tapering. Actually every time I try to taper i get this over whelming anxiety and end up using more. It's a struggle man, for sure! I rather be on say 32mg of subutex, than 1mg of heroin. So as for now I have no plans of getting of the subutex. The clinic I'm at tho wants to start the taper and drop me 2mg. I think i can do it, even tho I've tried and failed before. All we can do is keep trying, and keep our heads up. Best of luck to you and keep me posted. Direct message me if you'd like, maybe we can help each other out.
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