The Beast

By chillinwill · May 6, 2009 · ·
  1. chillinwill
    The Beast - you will never get Red Rock again

    The Beast

    Hello old friend,

    I've come to visit you once again. I love to see you sufer mentally, spiritually, and socially. I want to make you restless so you can never relax. I want you to be jumpy, nervous and anxious. I want to make you agitated and irritable so everything and everybody makes you uncomfortable.I want you to be confused and depressed, so that you can't think clearly and positively. I want to make you hate everything and everybody, especially yourself. I want you to feel guilty and remorseful for the things you have done in the past, that you will never be able to let go of. I want to make you angry and hateful toward the world, for the way it is and the way you are. I want you to be deceitful and untustworthy, and to manipulate and con as many people as possible. I want to mak you fearful and paranoid for no reason at all. I want you to wake up during all hours of the night and scream for me. You know you can't sleep without me! I'm ever in your dreams.

    I want to be the first thing you wake up to every morning and the last thing you touch before you pass out. I would rather kill you, but i'll be happy enough to put you back in the hospital, another institution or jail. But you know that I will be waiting for you when you get out. I love to watch you slowly going insane. I love to see all the physical damage I am causing you. I can't help but sneer and chuckle when you shiver and shake, when you freeze and sweat at the same time, and when you wake up with your sheets and blankets soaking wet. It's amusing to watch you make love to the toilet bowl-heaving and retching and not able to hold me down. It's amazing how much destruction I can do to your internal organs, while at the same time I am destroying your brain bit by bit.

    I deeply appreciate how much you sacrifice for me. The countless jobs, all the fine friends that you deeply cared for- you gave them all up for me. I am even more grateful for the friends you turned against yourself because of your inexcusable actions. I mean, who could be more generous to me than you? You gave up for me the most precious and important thing in your life-your loved ones and your family. I mean, man, you threw them all away for little old me!

    I cannot express in words how deeply grateful I am for the loyalty and respect you have for me. You sacrifice all these beautiful things in life just to devote yourself completely to me. But, do not despair my friend for on me you can always depend! In fact, after you have lost all these things, you can still depend on me to take even more! You can depend on me to keep you in a living HELL, to keep your body, mind and soul, because I will not be satisfied until you are dead, my friend.

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  1. mahoney
    swiRed Rock whats the crack? Did swiRR write that, its so simple yet sooo powerful. Swim hasn't done sickness in 9 months but that brings the memories flooding back...Reminds swim not to go back either. This should be a sticky in the Opiates Recovery Section. It would be very useful to people in PAWS(post acute w/d) and those past it.
    Very succinct but powerful reminder of exactly what that bag holds in store.
    Thanx man, excellente!
  2. Ilsa
    if opiates could talk....great translation. shocking and saddening and maddening and irresistible too often, they never loosen their grip on us do fact it gets tighter as we approach feeling things again.

    hope you're well, sweetie. thanks for the post, i needed to see it today. mother's day leaves me in a mood, and it's usually a destructive one. thank the gods i don't have any kids to worry about!
  3. kaloochi
    Very powerful and all true.
  4. cra$h
    Ah, swim's feeling the same way. Swim's just started having people bring up mini interventions, saying how much they care and how they don't want to lose me. It's such a sad story, and Chill, swim couldn't describe it half as well. Of course it sound like swichill is a little deeper of a hole than swim, but swim's catching up way too fast. Everyone's scared for swim's future, and they have no fuckin' clue how scared swim is.
  5. chillinwill
    No, Red Rock didn't write this but got it from one of his old friends and thought it was very good and brought back memories of him making sure he doesn't use again
  6. sickboy420
    dam u said it
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