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The Lure Of The Special Occasion

By aemetha, Feb 3, 2017 | | |
  1. aemetha
    The pitfall of "I plan to eat less cookies next year".

    Sally is mesmerized by the wedding cake, but is in doubt as she is on a weight-loss diet that does not allow such tasty but unhealthy delicacies. When the cake is cut, Sally decides that she will have a piece: it is a festive occasion after all. And reasoning that having just one piece won’t ruin her diet. Sounds familiar? Why is relapse so often preceded by the statement that this is a “special occasion”? And why is a “special occasion” a good excuse to have another drink?

    The excuse reflects an underlying dilemma. From a momentary perspective, the indulgence is the best choice; but from a long-term perspective, self-restraint is the best choice. The ideal solution is to somehow do both. This is impossible, except in one situation. If the situation can be framed as the “last time,” then the dilemma disappears, since the person can say to herself that a new and better life will begin tomorrow.

    There is a conflict between our immediate and aggregates perspectives. Decision-making can be described from two frames of mind: a momentary and a big picture perspectives. A momentary perspective refers choosing between the available items one at a time. A big picture perspective involves organizing the items into sequences and then choosing between different sequences. For example, deciding each night which meal is a better choice is the momentary approach. However, deciding between sequences of meals for a week is the long-term approach (a pattern of behavior). In the immediate choice, the best choice is the meal option that presents the highest pleasure. In the big picture perspective, the best choice is the sequence of items that has the higher value.

    The big picture perspective is consistent with the rational model of motivation. For instance, when planning for the long term, most people intend to eat healthy foods, exercise regularly, quit smoking, and spend less time on the Internet. But these plans require gratification to be delayed. Since on any given day the value of the immediate indulgence is always higher than the value of any distant reward (health benefit), people tend to go for instant gratification. It is just our perverse tendency to favor the Now over the Later, the lower over the higher. However, when we regret our past decisions, we are taking a long-term perspective. For example going to the bar and getting drunk and then regretting it. From an immediate perspective, the choice is quite sensible, but from a long-range point of view, the act seems to be a mistake. The mismatch between the immediate and the long-term perspectives refers to self-control problem.

    On any occasion, overeating, or using drugs produces limited harm. The damage, however, occurs after repeated indulgences. So a better treatment solution for the relapse problem is the realization that failure in any occasion is a predictor of failure in all occasions. If I give in today, I shall fail tomorrow as well. By connecting future decisions together, one sees both the immediate and long-term consequences. By connecting these single occasions into a pattern of lifestyle, the individual can gain a motivation to control her impulses that would be lacking if he just considered one day at the time.

    Original Source

    Written by: Shahram Heshmat Ph.D., Feb 2, 2017, The Lure Of The Special Occasion, Psychology Today


  1. aemetha
    Honestly I umed and ahed a bit over whether to post this one, because the "relapse is a part of the process" mindset is so deeply ingrained in our belief about treating addictions. I eventually decided to post it because I'm interested in what people have to say about it.

    After considerable personal reflection I don't think it means we should beat ourselves up about a relapse, but rather we should try and treat the conditions that precipitate a relapse in a larger context. Please add your own interpretations.
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