The "Real" 12 Steps

By klonopinz · Dec 8, 2008 ·
  1. klonopinz
    The 12 Steps

    Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable. = So you are a redflag?!?

    Step 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. = You must believe in God (the cause of, and solution to everything) so we can keep you under control.

    Step 3 - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God. = Now you have to BELIEF in what we tell you since its implied your life sucked earlier and was of no good because you didn't believe in this.

    Step 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. = Tell US all you did.

    Step 5 - Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. = How RED are you, redflag?

    Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. = So, to be clear, the reason your an addict to anything is God (or ITS absence) so you must believe entirely all that we are telling you for this is the only WAY.

    Step 7 - Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings. = Start spillin' the beans!

    Step 8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. = Now tell us about other REDFLAGS we want to control and watch.

    Step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. = Tell us your involvement and HOW INVOLVED with those REDFLAGS so it's easier for us to assess them.

    Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. = Keep Narc'ing out all those you knew before you came here.

    Step 11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out. = Don't THINK, just DO AS TOLD until you die!

    Step 12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. = Now, odds say that if you are still reading your mind is OURS and we can further use you, and if not you already told us what we wanted to know so fuckoff.

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