The Rest of My Life

By sassyspy · Aug 12, 2011 · ·
  1. sassyspy
    For a very long time, I have felt the best years of my life are over. I don't know what made me start thinking that way, I'm 44, certainly not elderly (yet).
    I guess what bothers me more, is that I am angry. I feel like I was cheated out of, or denied, a better life, due to the abuses suffered as a child and adolescent. I logically realize I am an adult, my choices are mine, regardless of the past. But emotionally, I find my thoughts tend to focus on my INABILITY to make good choices and decisions, and I place blame in the past.
    Lately, I have been trying to overcome my self-defeating thoughts, and start recognizing that there's still much more life to enjoy, if I choose to make it joyful. I know that means I need to quit using my DOC (drug of choice) as a means to cope with life. I'm getting closer every day. Every day I am more and more disgusted by my habit, and more and more I realize it is holding me back.
    So I guess starting my blog is a sort of diary for me, so maybe, just maybe, I can truly enjoy the rest of my life.

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  1. beentheredonethatagain
    i am 45 and still very young, sometimes a little too inmature. I have gone thru a tough period in my life , adjusting to being a single father of my son. I was carrying a lot of anger issues around , until it was pointed out to me by my sister , I didnt even realize that I had become bitter and angry, I didnt see it but she did because I generally am very happy, low key. We do have the best years still ahead, I am counting on it , You should too!!
  2. sassyspy
    Thanks BT. Some days I think there's lots of fun left to be enjoyed, other days I think its all pretty much over. I'd rather be positive all the time!
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