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  1. Emilita
    The time has come,' the Walrus said,
    To talk of many things:
    Of shoes — and ships — and sealing-wax —
    Of cabbages — and kings —
    And why the sea is boiling hot —
    And whether pigs have wings.'


    I shall be taking a break from drug forum for the next 6 weeks, l will be traveling but l am also going to take this time to reflect on my time and energy l devote to drug forum. I am by no means the most knowledgeable or dedicated member but l do spend a considerable amount of time reading, researching and learning. I feel in some regards my time on drug forum is coming to a conclusion, my real life has increasing responsibilities and l feel hesitation instead of joy when l log into my account.

    I recently had a member point out my rather brutal style of communication, l am abrupt, honest and somewhat defensive. I can't disagree with this observation but it did make me reflect, am l putting my best foot forward? Am l showing the compassion and understanding required on a forum? Why do l act hostile and why has this behaviour increased and to the extend that individuals feel a need to point out my qualities so readily to me.

    I am extroverted but l internalize all my emotions. I am use the most basic defensive mechanism a human can use, hostility and brutal honesty. I am who l am, this l won't apologise for but at the same time is my opinion needed and should l be expressing myself in this manner?

    These are questions that only l can answer, these are questions that require me to reflect and consider why am l doing this and are the individuals who l subject to this behaviour deserving of my treatment...no. No one should have to take or accept this behaviour, at the end of days l think that l need to work on my interpersonal skills and l will be doing it slowly through my travels.

    I posted the Alice in Wonderland quote above because l feel it relates. It is 'matter of fact', blunt and to the point. It might not make the most amount of sense but it isn't gentle, it isn't soft but a force of words.

    I shall remain active for the next few days and float as l always do but l will say ciao - a greeting, a meeting or a parting of ways. I am not sure to what it means yet, time will tell of the outcome.

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