RIP my sister 7th February 2013.
This morning our family quitely gathered around my sisters bedside to support her children when their mother, my sister ended her battle with lung cancer.
She left us on her own terms, at home in her bedroom at 3.20am, her best time in happier days that live on in our memories. Oh how she loved the night life, her daughter reminded me that to the very end she continued to be up during the wee hours watching late night tele when socialising was no longer physically possible.
I always knew she had a aura that attracted people of all kinds, inspiring them to be incredibly loyal and generous to the very end of her life. Marrying and having three childrern I believed she would moderate her lifestyle as most of us do. However divorce, lifestyle, and other conditions ensured smoking continued and unfortunately became much heavier contributing ultimately her oncologist informed us to her developing lung cancer.
But you dear blog know the story, the aufull pain, indignities and daily horrors of treatments, operations, chemotheraphy, radiation only too well. To the very end she continued smoking, secretly as time and disease progressed so as not to offend some and to avoid the lectures of others. Such is the loyalty tobacco inspired in her and unfortunately so many others, including our mother, her own children and many of her friends to my horror and frustration as I remain unable to convince or sway any of them to try and cease this deadly habit.
Towards the end she kept informing myself and others of her desire to come back and visit us from the .......... wherever, her code to us was birds, wild birds, colorful, we would recognise the code she kept telling all. Tuning her IPad to bird radio and frequent morphine etc may have helped this idea develop but it was every day repeated like her mantra.
Putting aside lets put it nicely diffrences we the family gathered to support her in her final moments, ex husbands, best friends and even her aging dog of 12years insisted on joining in. Even in death she insisted that non judgemental we supported her wish to die at home and donation of body to university research, I believe somehow she will contribute to some positive outcome or medical breakthrough go Krabula! May your wish for this become reality.
Returning home I found it hard to unwind and went downstairs to water my garden and gather thoughts. Now you maybe be right in thinking coincidence but opening the side gate a feather fluttered down from where I have no idea, but there it is. Yes I'm exhausted emotionally and physically from this mornings ending, but somewhere out there one of you may I hope be inspired to try if not for yourself, but for a friend, child or loved one to spare them all of this horror and sadness. Believe me me when I recount today I will never never erase the memory of my mother sobbing uncontrolably over my sisters cold body after she left us having granted me my request of her to show mum some love (*as there was some issues) she managed to find from where we don't know how from near coma to call mum and squeezing mums hand biriefly that was the end. My partner and myself watched in one of those moments that seemed to never end as her old dog tottered to the beds edge, fell off, and then on tottering paws left the room refusing to return.
To finish I would like to add, there are no perfect endings really but we must find the positive somehow and continue on. We all have vices, bad habits etc and myself included this is one of the quirks of being human, however ignorance, greed of big business tobacco companies and just plain stupidity will continue to supply more Lung Cancer patients unless we make hard choices and stop this madness. Plkease please do not give children the message thats its ok by smoking remember its monkey see monkey do learned behaviour that you have the power to change, one person makes a difference, one person chain begins the chain of change. Yours in love from Buzybee.