swim got a hold of 'buddy' yesterday before her s.o. got home, and she's been tweakin' since, not without some accidents. Pushin' is the best way to feel the snow. Swim thinks of the cold steel sliding easily into the chosen vein, trying not to get excited, for fear of 'missing', she watches as the blue blood in her veins hits the oxygen outside and slowly discolours the inside of the syringe red. She can see it ebbing and flowing, but she must act fast... push that needle's head ever so slowly, so as not to break the vein... and then the rush. She closes her eyes and enjoys the euphoria for a few minutes, her mouth gaping, tongue resting on the roof of her mouth - something her massage therapist taught her to stop her from grinding her teeth. Time passes quickly, and soon the rush is gone, only to be chased for the rest of her waking day. Four more misses, and she considers changing her method, but oh, that rush is so attractive... sniffing just doesn't cut it after one has pushed. That doctor never should have showed and allowed her to give her own b12 injections... look what it has lead to... but no, she would probably have ended up here sometime, following in her estranged father's footsteps... trying to keep her 'dirty little secret' gets harder each month... and now it's time to 'try' again....
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