Time for a sabbatical.

By Potter · Feb 13, 2011 · ·
  1. Potter
    This has been a terrible week. Monday I started throwing up in school and went home early. Tuesday I still felt like crap and realized I was sick from stress. Going to have to drop one of my classes to deal with everything.

    Friday I found out that two of my friends, two people who were going to get involved with my performance group, got into a drunken fight over a sandwich. It ended with the guy shooting her multiple times in the back and her dieing on a neighbors porch.

    Last night my group had a charity gig, we were a little disappointed at the crowed, and about not getting a featured slot, about not being allowed to light things on fire, but it was a charity gig, we got lots of fruit and cheese and to hang out together. It was lame, but not the end of the world. Well this one girl we had come brought a photographer who was a total prick and after having his head up his ass all night, went and picked a fight with the head of the organization running it "on our behalf" screaming and swearing at him in front of a bunch of patrons. I was absolutely mortified and humiliated. He nearly ruined our chances of being involved with a VERY BIG dance oriented show on a major national TV network.

    I hate to say it, Spucky is right. I'm not happy here at DF anymore. I've been disheartened to see so many people come and want to turn this into Yahoo Answers. We used to have all sorts of innovative research, fascinating questions and break through ideas, now people just want to get fucked up and be pissy that we have rules. There are a few people doing the good work, Phenylethylamine, Ron69, Piglet, and a few others. But so many newbies are coming here and just being useless, refusing to even a mediocum of research before posting their most basic of questions.

    I need some time away from here, I need to work on school, I need to heal myself, I need to get Pyromancy set up for the coming season, I need to de-stress from this place. I'm going to ask Alfa for a month long ban, to avoid the temptation of coming back every hours like I have been. Maybe when school is done I'll feel better.

    I want to taken everyone for their support, especially Jalateka who sent me a wonderful PM the other day when I really needed it.

    I'll be back soon enough, hopefully a bit happier, a bit nicer (I said a bit, don't expect miracles) and once again excited to be part of the best damn drug information site online today!

    Love you all, be back soon.

    Love sets Fire.
    Potter Dee.

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  1. Moving Pictures
    Well, that's a shame about your friends and all. Such a senseless killing. That would have anyone stressed out. If DF is adding to your stress, by all means, take a break.

    I don't know that the site is getting worse or not. I've only been here for a year compared to your almost 6 years. There's a lot of idiots, yeah, but there's a lot of good members too. I personally think DF is better now than when I first joined. Maybe it's because I've gotten to know people but I also think things like the new chem restrictions and the work on the Wikis are really great. But of course we're always going to have people who don't feel they need to follow the rules and want to make a big fuss about it until they finally get banned. It's damn annoying. It's also rough when someone makes a new thread without taking the time to even look to see that that thread already exists. It's tough to be polite to these people and explain the site to them just because they didn't feel the need to figure it out for themselves. All that said, there's a lot of good stuff going on. A lot more people are in the R&A than when I first started, I think. Which is a good thing. But no, there's not much cutting edge stuff going on here. But it's not like it's going on anywhere else. DF is still the best of these kind of forums hands down.

    Anyway, I'm not saying that to convince you to stay. You know what's best for you. I'm just saying I think DF isn't going badly. But it's adding to your stress and you need to do whatever you can to relieve stress from your life. I think focusing on things in RL is the best thing for you. There's no need to get bent out of shape about idiots on the internet.

    So I just thought I'd leave my thoughts here and say that while I know we aren't close or anything, I truley wish you all the best in your life. I always enjoy your posts (well, not always...) and will look foward to your return.

    Take care of yourself, man.

  2. Spucky
    First i got shocked when i read "Banned" :s
    but now i understand :vibes:

    Just let me say that you was one of my Heroes when i was new in the Df
    You have so much knowledge and be very fair to the other People,

    hope to see you back soon :vibes:
  3. Crazy Insane Sanity
    I hope things get better for you, Potter. You'll be missed in the meantime.
  4. Phenoxide
    I sensed an increasingly irate tone to your posts lately so I think you're doing the right thing for the sake of your own sanity. Though I think it's fair to say you aren't alone in your frustrations with the proportion of members choosing to use the forum as a helpdesk, there's enough stressors in the real world without allowing DF to add to them.

    Hope the break serves you well, that all the hassles of RL resolve themselves and that we see you back here soon.
  5. Synesthesiac
    Hope to see you back soon fella. Take a read of my most recent blog entry, "bullet points for happiness", they have seemed to help me.

  6. torachi
    Your posts alone made up 20-25% of my entertainment here. Every forum in the history of the intraweb has had a member like you. It's a coveted role, and its doubtful anyone will be as knowledgeable or as quick-witted to replace you in your absence. Good luck IRL, we'll be waiting. As long as we don't get banned. ;)
  7. Potter
    Re-reading my blog late at night, not so fun at times.

    I got really fucked up over the murder. I had a ridiculous crush on the girl, one I had no logic to have, that made me so crazy I didn't talk to her after the weekend we met and I secretly lusted for her. I didn't talk because I was afraid I would ruin my relationship with my partner. In retrospect that was really, really dumb. But love makes you like that. So she died with out knowing I loved her with a passion that burned so hot the waters of a thousand oceans couldn't quench it.

    And I felt terrible for that. not that it would have changed things, though she probably would have given me a black eye for my foolishness and fixed me right there. So I mourned, in secret. These are words that I've never spoken and probably will never speak again.

    I cried at her funeral, I cried at dawn the morning after a ritual we do every year, almost six months later. I cried like I've never cried before, for anyone, even my dad, when I was all of 12 or so. I cried for an hour straight, in a terrible thunder storm, even all the rain in the world couldn't wash away the tears. I cried at the anniversary, and at the conviction. I nearly dropped out of school during finals, twice. I worried everyone around me, a lot.

    I look back and wonder, why? I mean we hardly knew each other, she was crazy as a shit house rat and pretty violent. It's not like I ever would have had any sort of relationship. But then again, love doesn't have boundaries in logic.

    Satan! In the middle of all of this I go to my page and see Honorableone's icon with a gold after it and thought he had his ban lifted. But he was never banned.

    It's pretty crazy, this random punk girl, members here, both have effected me in ways that my own family hasn't.

    Guess my best advice is to tell all your friends not to die.
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