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Timeless Wisdom.....As Seen On A T-Shirt!

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4/5,
  1. Mick Mouse
    Always Be Yourself (Unless You Suck!)

    Aunt-Like A Mom, Only Cooler!

    At My Age, Happy Hour Is Any Hour Spent Above Ground.

    Whenever I'm Caught Between The Choice Between Two Evils, I Take The One I Haven't Tried Before.

    Ancient Orators Tended To Babylon.

    It's Not That I'm Old, Your Music Really DOES Suck!

    Heat Makes Things Expand, So I Don't Have A Weight Problem, I'm Just Hot!

    The Last Time I Reached For The Stars I Pulled A Muscle.

    Mathematicians Wear Glasses Because They Improve Division.

    Never Play Cards In The Serengeti, There Are Too Many Cheetahs.

    God Gives Us only What We can Handle. Apparently God Thinks I'm A Bad-Ass!

    "Tis Better To Have Loved A Short Person Than To Have Never Loved A Tall.

    A Backwards Poet Writes Inverse.

    If A Man Says He Will Fix It, He Will.....There Is No Need To Remind Him every 6 Months!

    Aging Gets Better The More You Forget.

    Her Bootlegging Was Illegal, But I Loved Her Still.

    I'm Aloof, Distant, And Judgemental. I Think I Might Be A Cat.

    A Tardy Cannibal Gets The Cold Shoulder.

    Remember When Being Stiff In The Morning Was A GOOD Thing?

    I Can't Clean, Because I get Distracted By All The Cool Stuff I Find!

    I May Look Calm, But In My Mind I Have Already killed You Three Times!

    I Don't have A Bucket List, But My Fuck-it List Is About A Mile Long!

    Not Doing Anything With My Life Is Surprisingly Time-Consuming.

    I Just Want People To Accept me for Who I Pretend To Be.

    Sometimes I Wrestle With My Demons. Sometimes We Just Cuddle!

    I Decided To Go for A Jog Today. As I Set off, I Heard Clapping Behind Me. Then I Realized It Was my Ass Cheering Me On.

    I Believe That If You Wear Enough Pretty Lipstick, Shiny Jewelry, And Great Shoes, Nobody Will Notice the Size Of Your Ass.

    I Thank God For My Children Every Day. Without Them, I Would Have Never Known How Well Red Wine Complements Chicken Nuggets

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