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  1. JonBenetMom
    Hi all,

    I'm inspired by JungleDog and Nefret and Roaddog and Cmenot and all of the great support at this forum so I'm going to share my taper travels with you all.

    I had a heroin addiction as a teenager. I went through lots of withdrawals. I finally quit at age 20 - with a klonopin patch in a detox ward. I did not do drugs for 15 years. I hurt my back 6 years ago and was given vicodin. The Dr kept giving it to me. Tons and tons.So I got hooked. I ran out when I was on a cruise ship and went to mexican pharmacy and asked what they had for pain and they sold me a bottle of tramadol. I could not believe that you could buy this without a prescription online and so that's how it all started.

    Like all good things that are "too good to be true" the tramadol train had a very bumpy ending. For those not familiar with Tramadol- it was easily obtained through "internet pharmacies" and as a result- enormous amounts of it would arrive in the mailbox like clockwork. Tramadol has always given me enormous amount of motivation. I could clean the entire house and I was like a superhero at my job. There were very few negative physical side effects except for when they ran out!

    The second week of August - the govt finally cracked down on tramadol and the internet pharmacy thing and they upgraded Tramadol so that it could no longer be obtained online without prescription. ( I do believe people are still getting it overseas but I had to make the decision that I cannot break those laws. I simply cannot let this drug ruin me in that way)

    It's been about 4.5 years of taking 20-24 of these 50mg pills every day. About 1200mgs a day and even more sometimes. There have been ups and downs. Ive run out here and there and have had murderous withdrawal. All the while living with a big huge Monkey on my back. And the secret of it. The secret of needing handfuls of these pills every day. And the panic that I could have a seizure at such high doses. Every night for over 4 years I laid awake wishing I could be free of the tramadols.

    So here is where I am at. About 3 weeks ago I started to taper from the 24 (50mg pills) a day. I was down to 12 (50mg pills) a day for a week. Then I went to 6 a day for another week. Then 3 a day for about 10 days or so. Now I am down to 1.5 pills (75mgs) a day and holding. Not going UP only holding steady or dropping lower. That is the mantra.

    What is helping is Kratom. I've taken about 2-4 grams of Kratom in place of my usual Tramadol doses. One other thing that is helping is xanex - which I am taking to go to sleep. And lastly- I got an antidepressant from my Dr - its Effexor- which is an SNRI. From what I have read and learned here at this forum is that Tramadol has a lot of serotonin and so I felt that these drastic decreases in dose would be a lot of my emotional state. (I have lost 4 of my close family members to suicide so I need to watch that) The effexor is only .37mg right now and in 10 days I am supposed to "double " that dose to the normal dose. By that time- I will be at the end of my taper from Tramadol and it will be more safe to do more effexor. I also bought loperamides as well as Rhodiola - both which I learned about here. I will use the immodium ONLY if needed on the first 2-3 days when I stop taking any tramadol because some of the stories on here are scary for those who got addicted.

    Kratom has been a major lifesaver. I simply cannot even believe that Kratom is working as well as it is. I am not only NOT depressed- my spirits are pretty ok. My body feels a tiny bit achy but my body really feels pretty good considering the enormous dose I started tapering from. I feel pretty hopeful that I will finally be free of the tramadol and I can re-learn who I am without it. I know that many get addicted to Kratom too but as long as its legal - I will cross that bridge when I come to it. Im trying to use just what I need and not try to "get high" from it.

    I simply cannot believe that I am finally almost free. I am so relieved that there is help with the withdrawals and that I may actually get out of this alive! This forum has taught me so much and I am just so incredibly happy to have found a place here.

    Anyways- thanks for letting me put all this out there!

Comments

  1. perro-salchicha614
    Jonbenetmom,

    It takes a lot of courage to write about your addiction. Your story is a really good warning about the consequences of sustained opiate abuse, and hopefully it will prevent others from doing the same. I believe that these types of stories are important and that they can help others avoid making the same mistakes. I know that they've certainly helped me make more responsible decisions since I've been on this site. Thanks for sharing your story, and keep us posted. :)
  2. JonBenetMom
    Thank you so much Perro :) I appreciate it very much. Definitely a journey but Im lucky to have found this forum to help me make it a bit less painful!!
  3. Golddust Woman
    Hi Jonbenetmom,

    Your story is touching. It must be hard to have lost close family members that way. I lost my best friend to suicide 8 years ago. I felt so guilty for a long time. I guess I thought there must of been something I could have done.

    You have come a long way on your Tramadol taper. Hopefully, the Effexor will help ward off any depression you might get. I just wanted to let you know how great you ate doing. Keep going gal your almost there! :crazy. :crazy. :crazy
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