repeated, smoked, Cannabis
repeated, oral, Alcohol
3 hits, smoked, DMT
Herm, where to start.... So yesterday was my friend's 21st birthday, so after I got off work and got ready, I started driving to her and her boyfriend's place which is about an hour away. They were having a party which had started a couple hours before I was able to get there, so people there were already getting decently drunk and high. I'm not supposed to be doing either myself anymore, but given that I had just set my "official" quitting date a couple days before and considering which birthday specifically it was for my friend I thought I might as well.... Normally I regret these kinds of decisions, but not tonight!
So I got to the party and immediately took a bong hit and a shot of tequila. It's hard for me to remember what all I got how many times since it was just the usual social party atmosphere, but I know I got more weed than alcohol. That bong was passed around a lot, and after that shot I'm pretty sure my primary source of drunkenness was beer pong, which I played a couple times. The party setting was very relaxed and happy; it comprised of the birthday girl and her boyfriend who are both close friends, another friend of ours who I see often, a couple of guys who I barely ever see anymore but used to see all the time back when all of us were taking pretty much any drug we could get our hands on, their girlfriends who I've met a couple of times but am still getting to know, and myself. The latter two guys and there girlfriends were sticking to alcohol for this occasion, so the weed was divided up between the other four of us.
I'm not really sure how much time had passed at these different stages of the party because I wasn't really paying attention, but I'm pretty sure that those two couples started leaving around 11 PM for different reasons, and then another guy came over who I was just meeting. Apparently he doesn't smoke weed, though we did get him to take just one hit at one point, but he did drink a little. The boyfriend of the birthday girl was also trying to talk him into taking a hit of their DMT, which the birthday girl had brought up earlier as well. He took some convincing, but finally he agreed to take a hit. I believe it was layered between either bay bean or skullcap.... He tried to take a big hit, but could barely hold any of it in without coughing some of it up. I could tell that he was just getting really tiny amounts of it, no matter what I said to try to get him to take a better inhale. I had loaded the bowl myself and was starting small anyway since it would be his first trip, so I was afraid that he wasn't going to get anything at all. After he gave up with no discernible effects aside from some headspace changes, the bowl was passed to me and I took the rest of what was in it. The outcome was some light patterning on surfaces, and things such as the ceiling seem to slide around in a few different directions.
I wasn't totally sure about smoking the DMT myself, but I figured that tiny hit would be okay. I had recently, a few weeks ago, decided to stop smoking DMT for now since I had kept using all the time just trying to trip more and more, and I knew that that wasn't a healthy way to go about it. I was also getting messages from my trips about how I should back off and keep working on unraveling my issues and integrating my past trips before continuing to explore. However, I have also been talking to people lately, especially one person in particular whose opinions I value quite highly, about how it really is better to just go with your intuition on these things or let them find you rather than trying to plan out how you're going to do them. With that in mind, I felt that being offered to smoke at the party could be just what I needed as opposed to how I had been using it before. Maybe five or ten minutes or so after that guy's initial trial another bowl was loaded so that he could try again, but he basically repeated the same process. I'm not sure how much was in there this time, but he did manage to get just enough for a few more slightly trippy feelings this time. Again, the bowl soon made itself to me and so I took another hit, mainly just intensifying the same effects from before.
Maybe fifteen or twenty minutes after that the birthday girl wanted him to try one last time, so she passed the pipe to me so I could load a big bowl so he'd be more likely to get a decent hit. I'm really not good with estimating powder amounts of DMT since I've never done anything but eyeball it, but I used a pretty good amount of what they had left; it was maybe half or a little more of what I would generally load for myself if I was going for a strong trip, and I'm really insensitive to psychedelics normally so for reference that's more than I've used to give people breakthroughs before. I actually gave the birthday girl one of those doses not too long ago, which is part of why she's so stoked on DMT right now to begin with. It was only her second real trip ever, and so far DMT is the only psychedelic she has used. But anyway, so he tried to hit it again... and once more, just took really small breaths and couldn't hold them in well. He did seem to get slightly more intense of an effect, and ended up talking about how he was seeing just phosphene patterns behind closed eyes but that they were taking on high levels of complexity, things like pyramids and other 3D shapes were emerging out of them. Like I said, I don't really know the guy, but I could tell that he was rambling a bit too. The others, who did know him, were laughing and saying they could tell he got a decent enough dose that time for him to at least test it out. He seemed to be enjoying it, in any case.
Now, let me take a quick break from the story here to give a little background information.... In the past, what I've discovered is that psychedelics tend to hit me in a pretty similar way, even if many things about the style of each trip is different from one drug to the next. The thing that they all generally have in common is that, when the trip is strong enough, all of the visuals start to turn into sexy girls doing very psychedelically erotic things. As it progressed further, it got to the point where even mathematical patterns and the like started appearing much less often than these beautiful female entities. The range of psychedelics that I had to experiment with before was somewhat limited, but I have experienced this at least with each category. On mushrooms it was the most "classy", which the entities generally being very vivid and realistic, though I didn't dose quite high enough for them to completely form, and involving lots of fancy clothes and makeup and colors like hot pink, sort of dark, bold green, and so on. On the others they were more similar to each other... mostly consisting of dim but vivid blues and purples. I had complete interaction with these entities on LSD, 2C-I, and even salvia, and each time they were more like "dirty", and I mean that in the best possible way... but still, very raw and dark. The thing though is that I never got this on DMT... it was always the exception. I have certainly found many things about the DMT experience to be quite sexual, but it was mainly about the way things twisted, warped, or transformed just in general that played with my mind in that way, as opposed to the actual context of the hallucinations as with those other trips. I believe DMT is even the only psychedelic to ever give me perceptions of male entities, as those female ones literally dominated all my other trips. There was a time when this bugged me, but these days I don't care to force it and just want to see where the trip can take me. I had just figured too that these kind of trips just must not be DMT's style, and I should enjoy its own unique signature instead of wanting it to be something that it's not.
Anyway... so after that guy at the party finished his last dose, the pipe was once again handed to me. I knew there was probably still a good amount left in there, so I was hesitant for a second, but then decided to just go for it. The first thing I noticed is that the fireplace I was staring at became much more colorful and then started seeming to melt. Everything in the room began to take on this pattern, but that was about it. Open eye visuals are usually not very strong for me these days, even with DMT. For a moment I just looked around becoming more dissociated and confused, and I realized that I was only keeping my eyes open instinctively because it was a party, but then I figured that once you bring out the DMT I think it's safe to say that that party convention can be put on hold for a few minutes. With that in mind, I closed my eyes and leaned back on the couch, and immediately a smile spread across my face. What I saw behind my eyes was freaking wonderful! For the first time ever with DMT, it was the same sexy girls I'm used to with other psychedelics... but there was a difference. On the other psychedelics, these girls would generally be just a part of a scene that was going on, or there would be other objects and things forming around them. There would also be a limited number of them per trip, like maybe somewhere between three and five or six depending on the intensity of it. But not with this.... What I saw was just tunnels upon tunnels upon tunnels of them. They were very well-rendered and seemed probably the most "natural" I have ever seen them, in that rather than feeling like they have set personality types like in the other trips they were more like real people.... The way they moved as my visuals was just the most overwhelming thing. Everything in my perception was completely made up of them, and it was soooo stimulating, I was going nuts! I basically felt like I was peeking into a world created from pure sexual pleasure... and it was beckoning me forward. I could tell that one step further and I would have been completely absorbed into it, and the message it gave me was quite clear.... Beyond this threshold is unimaginable bliss!! But alas, I knew this wouldn't be a full dose for me going in, and I was okay with that since I was at a birthday party... but I sure wished I could have gone just a little bit further in when I finally opened my eyes and broke free from my trance.
When I came to, the birthday girl was laughing a lot and she got me laughing too. Apparently she had taken a good hit of DMT after I had and was still tripping on it as well, and so we just talked about what was going on and enjoyed our heavy amounts of euphoria that we were experiencing. Not long after that it started mostly wearing off and the night returned to beer pong and weed.... Eventually I was the last guest remaining and I stuck around a little longer to watch Adventure Time and sober up a little bit from the alcohol I had ingested over those several hours, and then I headed home. All in all, I think the night went really well, and not just the DMT but especially that part too. It was a great experience and I'm very happy that the whole thing happened.
So my final thoughts on this.... I think this combination definitely did influence the trip a bit. Weed always puts me in a very sexual frame of mind, and it has had the effect of drastically enhancing these qualities of my trips in the past. However, I've never found it particularly enjoyable when mixed with DMT, mainly because it makes me hyper aware of my pounding heart and the way my body feels usually has a pretty strong influence on my trips. I think the alcohol effectively blocked this though, and that facilitated this experience. I already find the combination of weed and alcohol around close friends to be extremely euphoric as it is and it always gets my mind headed in a very sexual direction, so there's really no surprises there. I do feel too though that the trip as a whole wasn't just a result of the combination but also of the weed and alcohol simply putting me in the proper mood to let the DMT do its thing, in the sense that I feel that this really was mainly a DMT trip and I think that if I got myself in these states of mind naturally I could experience something similar with it in the future.... Of course, I'm still going to be sticking with my view of not trying to make the DMT do what I want, but you can sure bet I'll be hoping for this kind of trip again in further endeavors!
There was also a very brief point during the trip in which past anxieties that have arisen while tripping occurred to me, but as I've been doing lately I simply brushed them off as to not have them ruin the mood and reminded myself that I am working on overcoming my issues more and more every day, so there's really nothing to worry about. It was actually sort of a nice reminder too, since I do need all the help I can get to keep myself on track. It's great how psychedelics can tap you on the shoulder and remind you of what you really need to be doing even while giving you one of the most hedonistic experiences, or heck, THE most hedonistic experience, of your entire life....
Ahh, I can't wait until my next journey out with this fantastic compound!!