There are specific amounts of space we’ve allotted for people, things, and places in our lives, whether consciously or inadvertently. And even if you wanted to, there are things you cannot cut out or rearrange to make them fit. You cannot put an elephant in a pigeon hole, or a square peg in a round hole.
Blaming yourself for things going wrong, people leaving, situations not working out the way you’d like them to is a simple solution. So is blaming the other person. Albeit simple, it is also detrimental.
You are going different places than everyone else, on an individual path that you’ve been walking your whole life. And though this path may change every so often and split into new ones and you will take turns and come to forks in the road, the beauty of it is that the path is yours. The sadness is that you cannot just pull someone onto your path because you want them there with you. Sometimes I think the only conclusion worth anything is that you’ve got to walk your path and go on your journey and learn to love the people and places and things you find there, instead of always trying to merge roads. Sometimes it’s just a test of character, whether we can remain content or feel the need to change course to keep who we want with us.
Let people go when they need to change their lives, and learn how to leave and be left when you need to change yours. It hurts. It is selfish. It is necessary. Someday you will see them in a coffee shop, lock eyes, and be taken by surprise. You will have stories to share about the places your paths have taken you, and will be happy for each other for a moment without letting the sadness of forgotten friendship seep into your heart, or your green-tea. Someday you will find their old e-mail, send a letter, read the response and laugh at how different you are, how necessary the change was, and there will be closure. Or maybe the closure comes from yourself, from sitting alone and reading a book or finally feeling like you have control of your life and you like the circumstances in it. Maybe you never see them again. Maybe you never hear them laughing, breathing next to you. Maybe that part of your life is gone, and it won’t come back even for a moment. But maybe this is perfectly okay.