What good will all the meditation, mental reprogramming and self control do if you do not want to change who you are or where you are going?
To think that who we are is a property that could be so important to us we refuse to change who we are, even if it's to better ourselves. The death of our ego is too frightening, if we change too much who will we be then really? All we are is the accumulation of learned behavior based on our own experiences. We are never completely the same person we were yesterday, but to change it completely seems to some to be the ultimate loss of control of self, not vice Versa, even if it makes us "better."
So would you rather be the scum of the earth if you knew it was because you've embraced who you were. Or would you rather be happy but change so much about yourself, you are no longer recognizable when you look at yourself in the mirror?
Just some food for thought. Are all people capable of change, but we prevent ourselves from utilizing our own mental strength as some sort of the egos defense mechanism for survival.
The point of this blog post stems from the fact that one day I decided not to be an alcoholic because it had reached the point where it was the only sane option left in my life. I've been able to rid myself of meth use in the same way but instead I say to myself. NO. I want to be this way and I don't want to give it up, despite having the mental tools to become a person who has no desire to do it again. Why don't I want to become that person? Why doesn't anyone?
I wasn't high when I wrote this, and I've been sober, but I still choose not to remain that way.....and for what?!!!