Why did I lie to myself?
I'd been there before. IV heroin use, popping morphine pills on a daily basis, I'd climbed pretty far up the opiate ladder, although I only ventured once into the potentially deadly realm of fentanyl abuse. I don't have the patience to work put those doses, I know that, for me, fent and it's many analogs would be nothing but suicide.
Anyway, I'd taken a lot of different
opiate/oids. There had been good times, bad times and everything in between. Seeing as codeine is a "weak" opiate, I thought taking it every day for my chronic pain would be fine. The doctor gave me a couple of hundred pills a week; I don't have a fixed GP, so I could phone up at any time and get a different GP to sign my script. They would send it to my local pharmacy, I would walk 10 minutes, then munch my pills. All was well.
That was 4 months ago. At least I think it was 4 months ago, I honestly am not sure. Everything has blurred. I take 40 tablets a day, or at least I did until one Friday, when they randomly stopped filling my script. I was given a vague reason. No way to get a script until the next Friday. Dread sets in.
Cue running to any pharmacy with my fiance and buying as much codeine linctus as possible. I drink 2 bottles a day. It's ok, I guess, but doing the rounds on every pharmacy, anxiously awaiting the postman, all that bullshit. It gets pretty tiresome. Heroin is very tempting; at least it's a lot easier to aquire.
I haven't taken any codeine in 4 days now. My stomach won't stop hurting, my joints are in agony and the RLS is a fucking nightmare. I know codeine withdrawals are a piece of piss compared to heroin WDs, but this is horrendous, never the less.
"Codeine is weak, what's the worst that could happen?"
Fuck that Dr Pepper logic.
"I'll be fine, I got off heroin, I obviously won't get a codeine problem!"
Why am I such a stupid cunt sometimes.
The moral of the story is; don't fuck around with opiates. Know what you're getting into. And prepare for constipation.