What do you write?

By la fee brune · Oct 24, 2014 · ·
  1. la fee brune
    "What do you write?"

    I get this question a lot when meeting somebody for the first time. Often, it seems to be the result of a blind impulse toward social connection which I have always lacked. Today, it came up in the context of a physical therapy appointment, my first since I broke my ankle several weeks ago. I still haven't figured out an "acceptable" answer to this question. I knew immediately that I couldn't tell the physical therapist, a young (younger than I) doe-eyed woman who was practically shiny with health, what I really write. Surely, she was expecting some sort of conventional answer, some nonsense about small towns or an eternally optimistic blonde protagonist who finds love with a ruggedly handsome police officer. But I digress...

    How could I expect her (or anyone else, for that matter) to understand the inverse moral code of my work, the elevation of pleasure to cardinal virtue. Not the sort of superficial pleasure that television commercials promote in ads for fast food and sparkling kitchen appliances, but genuine, sublime pleasure that allows us to live outside ourselves, if only for a short while. The sort of cataclysmic, eternal, elemental pleasure that modern society tries to convince us that we don't need anymore. The sort of pleasure that most people don't even realize that they need.

    "What do you write?"

    Sometimes the simplest questions are the hardest to answer.

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    Author Bio

    la fee brune
    Opium fiend, bon vivant, and all-around pain in the ass.

    Annoying others since 1982.


  1. Cwb20022
    Hey perro, so what is it exactly that you write? Sorry i have to ask.
  2. la fee brune

    At the moment I'm writing an opium-themed erotic novel. I haven't posted any of it on here, but I did post a similarly-themed short story in the "sex and drugs" social group if anyone wants to read it and leave feedback. I've wanted to write this novel for years, but I assumed that, in this day and age, it was impossible for me to experience opium and that the project would be doomed from the start. Of course, I was wrong. I've never been happier to be so wrong about something, actually. ;)

    Most people would probably classify the novel as "erotica," but in reality it has quite a broad philosophical foundation. I personally think that pleasure can enhance the human experience much more than anyone in a position of authority would like us to believe, and this is the subversive quality that drives the novel.

    Thank you for asking about my work. It's really refreshing to be able to talk about it with people who might genuinely sympathize with what I'm trying to accomplish.
  3. Cwb20022
    Im sure you've heard of the book/movie candy?its a love story revolving around a heroin addiction. How long have you written for?
    Don't be ashamed of writing erotica) if the other person is uncomfortable that's there problem.

    I've never tried opium. But understand its a much more ritual type thing. So i could see how that could play into erotic.

    Wave your freak flag high.
    sexuality is something everyone's into. Whether they care to admit it or not.
    Good luck.
  4. la fee brune

    I've been working on the novel for the better part of this year. I'm trying to reconstruct the ritual and social history of opium smoking through the experience of the narrator. I feel that it serves as a good metaphor for certain truths about beauty and pleasure. I really want to emphasize the elemental quality of opium as opposed to modern versions of it, such as synthetic opioids (which can be fun but lack the aesthetic appeal).

    I would love to wave my "freak flag," but my social context is much more conventional than I would prefer, so I keep my mouth shut. Which I find deeply depressing. I'm actually considering publishing the novel under a pseudonym when it's finished, because I really don't want to have to field nosy questions about my own habits. Anyway, that's why it's really nice to be able to discuss it on here. :)

    I suppose I should stop mentioning to people that I write at all. Often, it comes out as some sort of perverse Freudian slip, because I actually do want to discuss it, but I know that I can't. I have a very odd relationship with my writing and my concept of myself as a writer. Does that make any sense?
      Reasonable likes this.
  5. JonBenetMom
    "Shiny with health" Amazing. Never have heard anything put better in my entire life. Bravo!
  6. la fee brune

    Thank you! "Shiny" is how I always think of people like her, so wholesome and perfectly conventional. "Clean" is another apt description, not necessarily in the sense of being drug-free, but in the sense that people like her lack the air of moral and psychological corruption that I love to find in others (because I can relate to it). ;)

    I used to be incredibly jealous of women like that, with their perfect manners, nicely-coordinated little outfits, and made-up faces, but then it occurred to me that being so perfect can't possibly be any fun. Call me crazy (many people have), but I'd rather enjoy my life than pour my energy into trying to meet society's standards.
  7. JonBenetMom
    I do hear you. Shiny is in a whole different realm and I honestly might need to do adopt that term! I also have felt jealous of the well made up/ physically fit/ seemingly unflawed women but what I realized for me is that everyone is putting on their costume/face of what they show the world. And when I lump all of "those types" of people together I do myself a disservice by not seeing them as individuals and when I do separate them (which for me is hard..I grew up in "the stoner" group in high school…so Im talking about the preps and the jocks and geeks now) I learn that they actually all have their sordid stories and aren't as unflawed as I perceive them to be. This helps me a ton. It is the ones who have never had any struggle or hurdles to overcome that I cannot seem to connect to (or want to for that matter) I am fortunate to do work helping women in prison and I have seen some of the most beautiful women in the world in there- but they all wear that same jumpsuit. Anyways. Good writings and hopefully more will flow for us to read!
  8. la fee brune
    That's a good point. I do sometimes wonder if any of these types of women are hiding really sordid secrets. I'll post some more of my writing on here at some point. Actually, last night I posted a poem that I wrote a while ago, but I think someone must have to approve it before anyone can read it, as it's not showing up yet.
  9. JonBenetMom
    Hahah we can only spume that the moderator needing to approve it is so CRAZY blown away by your remarkable poem they have to wait to cool down before hitting the OK button :) :)
  10. Twenty-One
    You know, I write just about nothing but fucked-up shit these days. Insane sex, awful violence, controversial politics, outright blasphemy, and things written to be intentionally befuddling. And I always introduce myself as a writer, too, when anyone asks me what I do for fun, and of course get this question. I just outright tell them: I write poetry in bizarre formats about things no one else will touch because I have no limits. By the looks of this little piece you know what sort of reaction that would get, but to be honest, I revel in it. That's right, I make 50 Shades Of Grey look like a pop-up book, and Fear And Loathing seem tame and superficial. If you don't like it, keep making that face and drawing out the silence and I will keep basking in it.

    Don't be afraid of what you write. You're an artist. The people who actually respect your art and actually care about the answer you give will be the exact same ones whose eyebrows will raise with interest, and they are definitely worth the trepidation you get from everyone else.
  11. Joe-(5-HTP)
    I write whatever pops into my head.. isn't that the general practice
  12. poppylove423
    Thats really cool. I love opium and i love erotica, so whats not to love?

    I write erotica too, usually on speed. But i prefer it over visual porn. I have a great imagination when it comes to sex. I came to truly know who i am this way.

    Ill be checking out your story. Take care!:thumbsup:
  13. Sumeru
    I do blogging and poetry mostly. Sometimes I like to think I'm heralding the end of humankind, or stumbling upon an enlightening paradigm, but I'm probably just spitting out words. I'd like to write more non-fiction: philosophy, geopolitics, and--these days--especially the environment and climate. I'd also like to finish upwards of a dozen short stories I've started writing.

    You've got some really fluid prose Perro. You should write more!
  14. prescriptionperil
    Writing what pops into you're head is generally called the rough draft. Revision, revision, revision is crucial to solid writing.

    I'll check out your opiate laced erotica, Perro
  15. prescriptionperil
    Meant opiium based erotica.
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