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  1. LottaQuixotic
    As in, "this is what happened". It's not a question. I know 'who', 'what', 'where', 'when', 'how' & even 'why' it happened (to the extent I'm aware, anyway). The only legitimate question I have no answer for is 'am I willing to do whatever it takes'? That's a tough one.

    What makes it a hard problem (not in the philosophical hard problem sense) is my lacking much confidence in what I'm calling "I", these days. If asked which famous person my mind would be likened to, that would be Judas Iscariot. I coined this reference to my brain in the middle of my first rodeo. The faces have changed, but the song remains the same.

    Having no reliable way of knowing absolutely sure when my mind or self or whatever it is driving this car will engage in mutiny (at best) or subversive combat (at worst), what 'willing' gets done isn't 100% owned by the 'me' I keep reminding myself I am.

    I admit to having left the building at one point, but no one explained that there would be no re-admissions. Especially since it's my fucking building! Who hired these carnival clowns?

    Maybe that's closer to the real question.

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