I'm back!! Better than ever? Not so much, but that's for later in the story. I missed you guys, seriously. Why I ever strayed, we'll never know, but I finally feel like I'm back home
To answer a few of the many questions I was inboxed during my two year hiatus,
NO I am not dead, though it's a wonder why not.
NO Sobriety is still a constant battle, achievable when heart is someday put into it.
YES I did end up in jail. Many, many times, the statement about Meth addiction leading to either the grave or prison, absolutely true.
Now, since so much has happened that I haven't been able to share, I'm going to give you my last two years in a nutshell. No feelings, no heart, no holding back, just truth, straight and to the point.
I got divorced in 10/12, I chose addiction while he chose to still put his all into saving me/us/our marriage. He was my best friend, but as he's recently engaged again, he cut me out of his life without a word. I deserve it.
I met my kryptonite in 07/12, and I was gone. Introduced to the new life of hustle, pushing, day to day surviving, barely. I became homeless with him, lost my Camaro in my divorce, had my truck stolen by his father, the next vehicle stolen by the original owner, the third vehicle junked to bond me out of jail.
I was arrested for the very first time while with him, followed by the 2nd, the 3rd, the 4th, the 5th, and I don't even have a clue how many more. My infatuation made it easy to cut out my entire family, all my friends, everyone I had ever known.
It made it easy to forgive him for beating the shit out of me a few times a week. It made me stay with him even after we became pregnant, and 6 months later, miscarried resulting from a horrendous blowout in which he broke my rib, split my bottom lip in half (requiring an er visit and gluing shut), took a knife to my throat and threatened to push, broke off inside door handles so I couldn't escape, and finally, after managing to escape, let me walk miles towards the hospital before getting a ride from a stranger.
He would eventually chalk up 5 domestic charges on me, every single one because somebody had seen his actions, or heard me screaming.
My infatuation with him and his drugs would also lead to me not showing up for a single hearing, therefore dropping some of those charges to lesser ones.
Sorry.. only once have I ever told anyone such detail (without even that many details) and I got a little carried away..
During these last two years, I was raided twice, the second was the worst of the two and I'm currently waiting to see if I will be federally indicted or not, as the owner of the home was and guess who was in possession and pushing all of his product, chalking up two controlled buys on herself.
After the second raid in 10/13, I was arrested with drug charges again in 12/13, and once more in 1/14.
In 12/13 my ex (same one throughout the two years) and I moved in with my dad and step mother. Best decision I could have made. In 2/14 I finally got a job after nearly 4 years without. In 5/14 I moved my ex and I into my current apartment, and bought us a vehicle.
FINALLY, THOUGH, TO EVERYONE'S SURPRISE (AND DELIGHT, EXCITEMENT, PLEASURE) I finally decided to stop being a punching bag after a single fist to the cheek bone just below my inner eye, left me with a black eye lasting just short of a month and a fractured cheek bone. I kicked that mother fucker to the curb!
Life went to shit, but the ride is slowly getting better and better!