This "poem" is slightly aggressive and egotistical, I just wanted to get it out...and move forwards.
My bestfriend of 10+ years betrayed me, it's unforgivable this time, I cannot give anymore of myself, there's no more to give.
Nearly 12 years of friendship and good times finished in a drugged haze. I will let myself feel this, and I will let it go.
White Rabbit Blood
Or schizophrenic foreplay?
I'll wash your face on the gutter.
How I pity you, the sore insignificant one,
So decorated in mediocrity...
I know you can't bite when the bullet hits.
Such a shame, I thought we would dance in the manipulation minefield...one last time.
How far should I turn this up?
My raging adrenaline has obliterated fuckers like you passionately...for years.
Dare to doubt me?
Driven by an unrecognized psychosis even after 4 years of lockup,
You heard me!
I'm even more fucked up than you thought.
This black fist lodged behind my heart pounds,
Uncontrolled with anger and conquest.
A black fist inwhich all I see as hatred is contained.
A black fist that thrashers those asylum walls harder,
Each time waste enters my world,
Pumping venom to all necessary actions.
Faces like yours litter my past,
Ashes to ashes.
I will be releived to place you amongst them.
This is all a game to me.
Nothing you do or say changes my position.
You've got to swallow the fact -
That I'll always be waving to you from the top.
Drugs dictate the outcome of users lives, once you're addicted.
I've laughed, cried, danced, sung, lied,and loved under the influence, but I've never betrayed someone.
Are the drugs to blame, or is it human imperfection?
I've blurred the lines and clouded reality for nearly 18 years, I'm not convinced I can trust my own judgement anymore.
I got this so terribly wrong.