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  1. JoyfulLife
    Why is it, we as human beings are sometimes unable to cut that connecting cord that binds us to another person? So, when you think of them it pulls at you in a way that says, hey, they still exist, and you still can't breathe sometimes when you fathom your life without them when you thought for so long...when you thought for so long, that they were going to be forever.
    So, we go on about our lives, living as normally as possible, until its mostly not an act, nevermind the 1/4 of dope you smoked to stay at a blue and sunshiney 78 degrees, and nevermind that a memory or some sensory imput will hit you from moment to moment, slamming you in the chest until you think you may stumble. Never knowing when you will suddenly feel the need to throw something, or scream or SOMETHING to get that feeling inside of you out. OUT.
    Yet, as much as we hate this, as much as we HATE missing them, and feeling that twist you only get for someone you loved so much, we hold on to it, we can not let go.

    Everyday I convince myself to let go, and everyday I look down, and there I am, holding on, feeling him tug from the other side.

Comments

  1. no eff eks
    This was touching, and brought a tear to my eye (okay like 50 tears). I can relate all to well to everything you said... I wrote a song about it recently. I hoped that it would be easier to forget once I got my heartbreak out of my head and onto paper/into song. Instead it just opened up old wounds that will never be addressed because there is nothing to really do... Still, at this point I'm grateful for everything that happened. Anyway check out my song if you're interested... It's called "everything spaghetti".

    http://youtu.be/o1Bai7Ys5MM
  2. JoyfulLife
    Thats exactly what I did here, trying to let it come out from bouncing around, maybe then it could settle and let me move on. I so want to be ready to move on.

    I will check it out right now, thank you for sharing
  3. Hippiedave82
    Why is it, we as human beings are sometimes unable to cut that connecting cord that binds us to another person?

    I would say this is one of those unanswered questions that will never find a definite answer. The connection you mention is definitely real, even with the zero contact and this person removed from my life i cant forget her. She lied and played me pretty good, and i have every reason to hate her... but i would still do anything for her. She is the only one who has that... " hate you because i love you so much effect" on me. I get the sensory triggered memories occasionally and those are the worst... honestly i dont think i would want to sever our connection. The memories are bittersweet but theyre all i have left of her...

    boohoo
  4. Phaeton
    I have been divorced 16 years now, my youngest is 21. Her older siblings remember the bad times and dislike their mother. Frances grew up visiting with her mother, I did this when her mood allowed, she is physically violent on her bad days, but missing her would always have me there on her good days.
    I could not visit with the kids after she did time for shooting at a boyfriend through a closed door, not even with supervision. Still I missed her.

    She is in a homeless shelter now, her good days are fewer. Frances still visits on her good days, sometimes I want to take her out there so bad I cry.
    But I cannot, even Frances, who loves her mother, says no.

    I am divorced longer than married and that tug you speak of keeps pulling into my old age. I care not for today so much as yesterday.

    I will carry that spot in my heart to my grave.
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