By OxyMormon · May 5, 2012 · ·
  1. OxyMormon
    So, one starts using meth because it makes one feel good... one loves the rush, the energy, the extra hours in the day...

    Then one stops caring about things in his life. One goes about in a haze, always looking for the next good high. One decides that it's too expensive to keep using without some sort of income to counter-balance it... so one starts selling... just to friends, at first... then on a wider scale...

    One wants to stop... but those times when one has stopped, one lies in bed at night and pictures that one amazing time that he got that amazing rush... and all he can do is want it again.

    I'm so fucked up. :(

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  1. coolhandluke
    in my experience there are two parts of addiction, the actual drug itself and the lifestyle. a couple years ago before people went to prison or died, there were a lot of people in my circle and everything revolved around selling and doing oxycodone. it got to a point where i would make several hundred dollars for someone doing a deal with one of my personal connections just out of respect for me. after i decided to quit it really fucked up a lot of peoples business so i had to give numbers out, which pissed a lot of people off who i had to pay to keep them happy.

    anyway i felt like i was in the mafia for a while, i was making so much money and doing so much drugs and acting like i was micheal corleone or something. i missed it after i got clean and ended up relapsing. now that ive been on methadone for a while and have gotten real friends and developed friendships which had nothing to do with money at all, just friends. a few people are going to prison for a couple years some a decade, and one died, im not missing that life at all.

    good luck man.
  2. Relapse_Rollercoaster
    You are so right in your feelings...I definately relate. It's hard, but if you really want it, and you are tired enough it can be done. There is always rehab. Allow time to heal, and recover. I personally don't think the brain is ever exactly the same again again after flooding it with too much dopamine long term, but the best version of who you are now can come out. The sooner the better....

    Nothing worth getting done is easy, especially when it comes to matters like that. Learning to live life again without it in your daily routine, missing the way it feels, and just getting through the initial phase are all difficult, but possible. With extra effort and taking advantage of the possibilities the impossible is suddenly achieved.
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