1. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
2. You feel like the morning after, and you didn't go anywhere the night before.
3. Your knees buckle, and your belt won't.
4. You can only burn the midnight oil until 9 O'clock.
5. The twinkle in your eyes is the sun hitting your bifocals.
6. Your back goes out more than you do.
Any more to add?