You'd better smile or else!

By Mindless · Aug 9, 2012 · ·
  1. Mindless
    Mark Worsfold is a 54 year old gentleman with Parkinson's disease, who was a spectator at an Olympic cycling road race. He was arrested because he 'failed to smile or look like he was enjoying himself'. For this despicable criminal act was thrown to the floor, handcuffed, arrested, the taken to the Reigate police station where he was obliged to supply a DNA sample and fingerprints, as well as posing for a mugshot. He was arrested on suspicion of a public order offense. The police statement goes:

    "He was positioned close to a group of protesters and based on his manner, his state of dress and his proximity to the course, officers made an arrest to prevent a possible breach of the peace. There were a number of factors which led officers to make this arrest, including the fact the race was approaching, the heightened level of security due to the high profile nature of the event and the sheer number of spectators.”

    In other words, the cops present thought he looked dodgy, and panicked. Yay, go Team GB! So beware, if you are attending any Olympic events, you'd better make sure you have the biggest most shit-eating grin you can muster, and be smartly dressed. I suppose we can at least be grateful that their incompetent bullying did not lead to Mr Worsfold's death.

    It seems that even law abiding citizens going about their lawful business have genuine reasons to fear the police. Ian Tomlinson was making his way home after a day selling newspapers during the 2009 G-20 summit protests, when he was hit by a baton wielding berserker in police uniform and pushed to the ground. He died from an ensuing heart attack, and the coroner found that this was an unlawful killing. The officer responsible, Simon Harwood, was inexplicably found not guilty of manslaughter.

    And let's not forget the stunning lies and the mysterious missing CCTV footage regarding the shooting of Jean Charles De Menezes, a Brazilian who looked 'a bit around the eyes' like a suspected terrorist. There were no arrests or prosecutions in connection with this killing in 2009. In fact, the officer in charge of this operation (Cressida Dick) was subsequently promoted to assistant commissioner, a post which she held until January 2012. Officer Dick also holds the Queen's Police Medal for distinguished service.

    So keep yelling GO TEAM GB (or team of your choice) and don't forget to smile. Or our famous British Bobbies will become confused. If you're lucky they might not accidentally kill you.

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  1. r160k
    Apparently, he wasn't even not smiling deliberately! His Parkinson's was causing rigidity in his facial muscles - so his choices were basically wear a mask, or get arrested.
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