Home Wiki Studies Forum Groups Blog Video Images News
Go Back   Drugs Forum > Blogs
Mark Forums Read
Register Tags



Sensory Deprivation and Benzo Withdrawal

Posted 25-07-2015 at 04:12 by chupamivergaguey

Male, 30s, ~160lb. When I went in for my first float I was in bad shape. I had detoxed from alcohol and other drugs and was just beginning the detox for benzodiazepines. My latest run went on for about six months of almost daily use of a variety of benzos and other drugs. Although benzo doses did increase during this period, they didn’t increase beyond anything therapeutic and even at the end I was only taking around 2mg of flubromazalam at night. I know this is vague but I can’t really give better details of how much of what I had in my system for a variety of reasons. I can only give a general timeframe of more or less daily use.

Having detoxed from alprazolam before, I assumed I was in for a good 10-14 days of anxiety, fear, insomnia, and another symptom that can only be described as “feeling turned inside out,” one...
chupamivergaguey's Avatar
Silver Member
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 43 Comments 0 chupamivergaguey is offline

My Journey and where I am NOW

Posted 08-07-2015 at 20:47 by Jake.
Updated 29-07-2015 at 08:04 by Jake.

I just thought i'd write a blog entry on my personal history, drug use, and how I got to where I am now.

I started drinking at 14, the age I came out as Gay. This was not the reason however.

From 17-24 my drinking got heavier and heavier and I was an alcoholic, drinking 3 bottles of wine a day or 1 litre of spirits. I hated life, hated myself, and quit.

I used other forums and support network and didnt drink a drop for 4 years.

When I was 16 and left High School my eyes were opened to the world of drugs. I've done;

Magic Mushrooms
Amyl Nitrate
You get the picture.......

I went to college, got a Bachelors Degree in Sociology...
Jake.'s Avatar
Capt. of the Psychonauts
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 425 Comments 5 Jake. is nu online

my pledge to play my part in preventing cyber bullying

Posted 30-06-2015 at 18:32 by detoxin momma

in this day and age,the kids have it much tougher than we did as kids.
cyberspace,how detrimental this can be on a developing personality.

these kids spend too much time online.social media especially.

in my home we allow no social media of any kind.we are a facebook,myspace,twitter,IG,or any other form out there,free home.

i am trying anyways.

i have an 11 year old daughter and a 9 year old son.
where theres a will theres a way.kids will find a way when they're determined enough.

i have caught my daughter on "KIK" against my wishes 3x now.this is a newer place for the kids to congregate.she lost her tablet for a month each time.and i set a pattern lock so that only i can open it now.

when the norm these days is to post and share...
detoxin momma's Avatar
Just A Brick In The Wall
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 356 Comments 4 detoxin momma is offline

Spirituality's success in recovery from addiction, and why you dont need it.

Posted 25-06-2015 at 23:50 by Scloud90
Updated 25-06-2015 at 23:56 by Scloud90

I was writing a thesis on addiction and spirituality, or more accurately described as a half thesis/half brainstorm on how spiritual awakenings aid in recovery, and what the connection is in recovery and spirituality. The main point of interest is how spirituality offers the restoration of things lost in addiction, as most of the changes that occur are strong tenants of many types of spirituality and religious belief. Relationships, hope, time, community, happiness, conviction and belief are all major components of most religions. All of which are robbed of you in most cases, and all of which are necessary for recovery. From the enriched environment and community that alters the regulation of FOSB like proteins which is related to addiction, to the belief that your recovery is possible, and to alter your perception so that something bigger...
Scloud90's Avatar
Silver Member
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 156 Comments 0 Scloud90 is nu online


Posted 15-06-2015 at 13:23 by mr.M

I am such at the high end right now. I will probably sound weak and coward but I think I will relapse and sometimes I wanna relapse. I just want to stop feeling this fucking way.

I haven't used drugs as in abuse or for recreational purpouse in two years. Only codeine which I took once a week.

I've quitted 170mg of methadone exactly two years ago. Stimulants three years ago. I only took a reaseach chemical three weeks ago but was a small dose and it was more of a sedative slightly empathogenic than a stimulant. It wasn't like a real relapse because I didn't want it to do it the next day or any other day after.

I have used codeine and dihydrocodeine once a week.

If someone is reading this and dosen't suffer from OCD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and borderline personality disorder...
mr.M's Avatar
Silver Member
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 391 Comments 2 mr.M is offline

Beautiful things and a pair of wings

Posted 29-05-2015 at 15:27 by LittleBabyNothing (Something about nothing.)

Yesterday was a strange day.Like a trip back in time.

I had to go to a little town where I and my husband once lived to collect some things from house where we lived.I had not been there for ages.We moved to this place from capital in hope to get rid of addiction, but opposite to our expectations, we just kept sinking further and further down.And carvings started,because allmoust everything in that town reminds me of using drugs,even landscapes I have not seen being clean,only stared at them while being high.

When I entered our room, it was quite a sad experience.I have forgotten how much we loved to surround oursevles with beautiful things- all these artworks,photographies, sculptures, instalations,good books and eastern style fabrics!But between all this layed used syringes, deformed spoons and cups (Some...
LittleBabyNothing's Avatar
Silver Member
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 401 Comments 0 LittleBabyNothing is offline

Came across this article today, what do you all think?

Posted 26-05-2015 at 07:52 by ima.get.her.doee

ima.get.her.doee's Avatar
Silver Member
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 323 Comments 0 ima.get.her.doee is offline


Posted 16-05-2015 at 14:33 by St Dismas Novitiate (The Frying Pan-Things Always Get Hot In Here!)
Updated 21-05-2015 at 17:33 by St Dismas Novitiate

So, I was bouncing around here today and cleaning up some stuff, and I ended up on my profile page. While I was there, I started looking through my "friends" list, and I realized that there are a ton of people who are no longer around, or at least not much, any more.

Burnz, Iceflame, Bluebird21, The Joker, BaZING, and many many more have vanished. One hopes that it is merely a situation in which they have outgrown us and moved on to a happier and more productive and satisfying life.

But there are many, such as Al-k-mist, who have dropped out because of situations such as homelessness or financial upheavals. BaZING and his partner have moved and are quite happy in their new life.

I miss you all, and I wish I knew if you were OK and happy. If you read this, and you ever need anything I can help...
St Dismas Novitiate's Avatar
Nomen est Omen
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 828 Comments 3 St Dismas Novitiate is offline

How to meditate. 1

Posted 11-05-2015 at 11:37 by Scloud90
Updated 12-05-2015 at 03:57 by Scloud90

Theres more than one way to meditate, different means can result in the same conclusion. Its about mental preparation. Its kind of like drawing a blueprint, you're not actually building anything, but you are setting everything in place so you will be ready to construct that building.

1.. Most people cant be alone in their thoughts, an experiment showed that most people would rather inflict self harm and shock themselves than be alone and have to deal with their thoughts. You have to embrace your thoughts, and find pleasure out of the reward of self-discovery, regardless of how ugly it gets. There is ugly shit in your unconscious mind, accept that it is there, and that other people have it too. They are just so insecure they cant reveal the details to themselves, if they did they would be broken. Pride yourself in your ability...
Scloud90's Avatar
Silver Member
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 574 Comments 1 Scloud90 is nu online

The Journey

Posted 07-05-2015 at 03:44 by St Dismas Novitiate (The Frying Pan-Things Always Get Hot In Here!)
Updated 03-07-2015 at 05:45 by St Dismas Novitiate

Well, here we are. As many of you might have noticed, I have been absent for awhile. But I was, quite frankly, an ass-hole long before I left.

Why? Well, that is a long and painful story. I have been dealing with some fairly severe emotional problems.

It sounds so simple when you say it like that....."emotional problems". Well, hang on to your hats! Because this journey has been one of pain, fear, and introspection. I have had to not only acknowledge the fact that I had become a thing that I hated, but I had to accept that fact as well.And then deal with the wreckage and consequences.

I am in my early 50's, and this tale started around age 7, so it will be a long story. Not something that I will be able to finish in one or even a dozen sittings, but I will relate everything here. And I will...
St Dismas Novitiate's Avatar
Nomen est Omen
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 1667 Comments 12 St Dismas Novitiate is offline

What is time?

Posted 23-04-2015 at 09:39 by NERO420

I talk for living. Which is ironic because I don't talk if I'm not working. So I'm falling back into my quiet tendencies again. Yet, I have a new pattern occurring. My mind is constantly working on many theories throughout the day. That I will be quiet for several days and then explode with communication. Keep in mind I am staying clean. Honestly I am. Everyone keeps telling me I am talking so fast they have a hard time understanding me. But I feel as I'm talking normally at a nice pace. So when I do slow my speach down I feel as tho I am talking ridiculously slow. But they tell me that is a normal speed. How can that be? I understand time is an illusion and relative to the observer. Is my mind really working that fast? Am I spiralling out theoretical control? I love to theorize and discuss deeper meanings to how life is.
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 484 Comments 0 NERO420 is offline

Is it just me?

Posted 19-04-2015 at 08:57 by NERO420

All my life I have struggled with addiction. Not always drugs. I get addicted and obsessed at times with ideas, thoughts, patterns and feelings. I have always been able to identify connections and reason how things come to be in my personal life. I realize drugs can be harmful if used for the wrong reasons or used to often. But I love the way my mind thinks on them. I truly am creative when using and my best work has always come during usage. Why is it everyone in my life wants me to stop? Do they not remember who I am without. I naturally have tendencies of being introverted. I am very quiet and shy. I never have any energy. I have no interest in anything. This is me before use. After I use I am so outgoing and proud to be different. I embrace everyone for who they are. Yet they forget that all major relationships were made both romantic...
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 832 Comments 3 NERO420 is offline

We accept the love we think we deserve (Thinking about addiction once more)

Posted 17-04-2015 at 12:50 by LittleBabyNothing (Something about nothing.)

Recently I have thought about it a lot. Especially after one conversation with my significant other when he confessed that there was a point when he thought that if I do not change after coming out of hospital,maybe it is time to end our relationship, no matter how much he loved me. But I changed and we are still togeather.That time I thought that I am harming only myself, I just could not accept that someone else cares of me and worries about me as well. Now I think I have been very egoistical and I guess it must have taken much to love me in my period of addiction, because I was constantly somewhere on the borderline of life and death,trying to commit a suicide, OD`ing, representing antisocial behaviour etc.I just did not care how much I hurted others.
LittleBabyNothing's Avatar
Silver Member
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 512 Comments 0 LittleBabyNothing is offline

Sweet subtle Ms Tina

Posted 16-04-2015 at 10:05 by FrYingRyan

An elegant mistress that sweeps in, taking over. The whole time letting you think your the man in the relationship.
Before you know it, her elegance has left.
She's going on, to subdue another, and your left down the hole that you and her created..
It's only for you though.
FrYingRyan's Avatar
Silver Member
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 474 Comments 0 FrYingRyan is offline

Some random thoughts about addiction....

Posted 04-04-2015 at 14:34 by JonnyBGoode
Updated 04-04-2015 at 15:00 by JonnyBGoode

One of the hardest things about coming off any drug is settling back into 'normality' which is like a scary and dark place for most of us addicts. 'Normality' is the thing that we're scared of, the fear of the present is the most typical thing that causes me to go back to drugs. It's ok for a week or maybe even two, but then it starts become intolerable, everything just slows down to a snails pace. Days take forever, a week feels like a month and a month feels like a year. After coming off opiates, a long and drawn out depression set in like a rot, it's like mourning a loss in some ways, you feel powerless to stop the feelings of grief and sadness and you're angry with yourself for not doing something about it sooner and letting it take such a hold over you that you've got this bad.

But feeling sorry for yourself doesn't help,...
Titanium Member
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 666 Comments 0 JonnyBGoode is offline

Some translated old poems of mine

Posted 21-03-2015 at 13:45 by LittleBabyNothing (Something about nothing.)

Endless summer

The fragile whiteness
of bitter snowflake
is waving in
the top of the throat
like a firefly
in the whirlwind
in black ribbed
jungles of citty.

And death has been
left behind in opera
dressed in dirty
laced underwear.

When it`s the endless summer,
snowflake clouds
just leave you

Because the first snow
is never coming back again.


And death in opera is bored.

Turn up my ground
with citties of
your skyscrapes

so that forever staying wounds
get swollen
like mouth of beasts
when jumping for food.

And we will fly
to the...
LittleBabyNothing's Avatar
Silver Member
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 578 Comments 0 LittleBabyNothing is offline

Thoughts about years of addiction.

Posted 21-03-2015 at 11:59 by LittleBabyNothing (Something about nothing.)

Today is a strange day.I do not feel like being in myown skin, or being there too deep.It`s cold,gray and snowy outside, just like city would have swallowed its colours.

And,according to my recent inner feelings, I guess,my good old friend Manic Depression has come to talk to me again.But I hope that it`s just a feeling.

Anyway, this was not what I wanted to write about.I wanted to write about changes I have noticed when reading my first posts written few years ago when I was in full blown addiction.It is strange to read them- like it has been a totally different person writing these. During the time I have been clean,I guess,my values have changed a lot and I have learned how to fight with my inner problems without selfmedication.But,in the same time, this little animal in the stomack is allways there.This time...
LittleBabyNothing's Avatar
Silver Member
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 922 Comments 2 LittleBabyNothing is offline


Posted 19-03-2015 at 16:18 by LittleBabyNothing (Something about nothing.)

I am not sure what to write about today.
My first blog here.

Shiny and nice day/evening outside, but I feel so tired like a truck would have run over me.

Started to organise my husbands anniversary suprise. Hope that he will be as suprised as I am excited- I am planning to take him to some KGB style spy attractions.
LittleBabyNothing's Avatar
Silver Member
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 592 Comments 0 LittleBabyNothing is offline
Rating: 2 votes, 4.00 average.

Getting addicted to opiates full time..

Posted 17-03-2015 at 22:30 by JonnyBGoode
Updated 18-03-2015 at 18:14 by Phenoxide (price discussion removed)

After I received that first packet of Oxy's everything changed pretty rapidly. They were a step up from the other pain killers I had been taking in terms of strength and the euphoria was incredible, it allowed me to be really confident again and go out to clubs even dancing for hours again like if I had been taking ecstasy still. If you crush up Oxycontin, and snort it, you get the effects instantly and it hits you harder, I had started swallowing one then carrying others crushed up into a powder in a bag with me, I just snorted in pub toilets like people take cocaine but it was opiates for me. I loved it so much I just didn't care about anything else, I budgeted all my monthly outgoings around ordering a big parcel from Mexico or Serbia or wherever I could get them sent from dodgy online pharmacies.

It was around the initial...
Titanium Member
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 1392 Comments 6 JonnyBGoode is offline


Posted 02-03-2015 at 01:36 by Cash.Nexus
Tags heroin

The curry wasn't too hot and the view was great. My hostess pointed over rooftops at a quartet of tower blocks. Is that the notorious housing estate? No, it's the other one. I was attacked there, late 90s. Those were the days! Ripping another piece of naan bread, I recalled a day from dark times.

Seventh floor, returning with a couple cats from copping eighths off their hook. A figure came out a stairwell door and head-butted me. Hey, if you're gonna cop smack in North Glasgow, you gotta get Kissed.* Goes with the territory, man.

My nose bridge crunched, then dude grappled me. He gripped a small blade-thing so I grasped that wrist to restrain a stab. My free hand, fisted round an eighth, braced his collarbone. The connections went in their flat looking sad. The guy was their estranged cousin.
Cash.Nexus's Avatar
Titanium Member
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 700 Comments 1 Cash.Nexus is offline

education system failure, college dropouts, and drug use.

Posted 26-02-2015 at 04:29 by Scloud90
Updated 26-02-2015 at 04:42 by Scloud90

People tend to continue to pursue things that increase their sense of reward and a lot of the way your brain processes decision making will tend to do things that activate the reward pathways.

Being in college and learning a bunch of stuff that you don't care about, because of some goal you have that you want to get from college that activates your reward system may cause you to lose enthusiasm.

A long drawn out process that provides some goal not worth the negative reinforcement of certain things required to learn that the system deems necessary in order to gain some certification or goal are often counterintuitive to human behavior.

You can learn how to become successful based on understanding the brain and your reward pathways to influence your decision making. However my brain is already...
Scloud90's Avatar
Silver Member
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 661 Comments 0 Scloud90 is nu online

There Are No Losers.....Only Those Who Quit Trying

Posted 23-02-2015 at 14:48 by St Dismas Novitiate (The Frying Pan-Things Always Get Hot In Here!)
Updated 17-03-2015 at 14:08 by St Dismas Novitiate

It is not the critic who counts;

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,

Who strives valiantly;

Who errs, who falls short again and again;

Who has known great enthusiasms;

Who spend himself in a worthy cause;

Who, at the best, knows in the end

The triumph of high achievement,

And who, at the worst, knows

If he fails, at least he fails

While daring greatly.


The war between Light and Darkness is not fought
with the clash of great armies
or with the mighty force of arms.

It is contested one life at a time.

For no matter how many are turned toward the Dark,
No matter how many become corrupt,
the Darkness...
St Dismas Novitiate's Avatar
Nomen est Omen
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 575 Comments 0 St Dismas Novitiate is offline

psychoanalysis determining truth behind the BS

Posted 22-02-2015 at 15:17 by Scloud90

In examining various psychoanalytical theories, and psychoanalysis itself, ive come to the conclusion that competing theories can be true, but logical deduction/inference can determine that amount of validity to their frameworks. As long as not mutually exclusive many different psychoanalytical theories about various topics can be true despite seemingly conflictive.

It is easier to examine the unconscious mind with higher empathy levels and a combined level of curiosity for truth.

This leads to interest in a pursuit of psychoanalysis, but ultimately regresses in a form of projection making the psychoanalyst fixated on their own forms of development or pattern of their unconscious mind.

This leads to a progression of theories and connections of belief, formed to their own understanding of development....
Scloud90's Avatar
Silver Member
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 634 Comments 0 Scloud90 is nu online

(Drug Articles/Using logic and determining fallacious thinking.

Posted 22-02-2015 at 00:41 by Scloud90
Updated 22-02-2015 at 02:17 by Scloud90

In todays world of research we find links/connections with a lot of different things, some are recorded in scientific journals or articles etc. regardless of whether the link is significant in causation.

Its important to understand how to identify the purpose of an article or a scientific document in order to properly comment or discuss it. Immediate dismissal of research, assuming the purpose is to indicate a conclusion due to a link for example is inappropriate. Identifying purpose in a study also prevents red herrings which allows progress in maintaining a philosophy of gaining as many true beliefs and as few false ones as possible. A red herring might result in dismissing an entire article due to fixation on irrelevant points or having a concern with something that is unrelated to the conclusion. The article might not...
Scloud90's Avatar
Silver Member
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 635 Comments 0 Scloud90 is nu online

How to act in public while you are on meth- opinion

Posted 21-02-2015 at 11:18 by TashunaStar

Originally Posted by derpahderp View Post
You do realize #10 in my list was paying homage to your good tips right? have a good one girl-

Excellent point! I wish I would have read this months ago. Before I got pulled over looking extremely drousy eyed and with a complete cotton mouth to say the least. First off I kept driving after the cop turnt his lights on, just could not quickly make the decision where would be the best place to pull over and stop. I rambled through tons of things in my purse, tons of paper in my glub department and everywhere else (meanwhile the insurance card was in a spot alone that I'd previously stored it for easy, quick access). Long story short I got a insurance ticket anyway, because the cop ran out of patience with me. Then I burst in tears when he handed it to me. I sat there and cried in my car for...
Silver Member
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 760 Comments 0 TashunaStar is offline

Sitelinks: Information:

All times are GMT +1. The time now is 23:04.

Copyright: SIN Foundation 2003 - 2014, All rights reserved