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Childhood Events Determine Whether You Become a Drug Addict, This Doctor Believes

Posted 05-02-2016 at 03:03 by prescriptionperil

No, I believe psychedelic research is being used in the US finally, so your optimism is accurate, Freckles.

The results from many of the current psychedelic trials are quite promising in areas from coping with late stage cancer to PTSD. Personally, I believe one of the major causes of a bad trip come from not embracing one's own emotional baggage. Perhaps that's why psychedelics are promising therapeutically for a myriad of human emotional pain. An experienced therapist is best, obviously.

Genetics are still likely at most half the picture in even alcoholism, which various twin studies have illuminated the genetic linkage well over 50 years ago. (Google twin studies alcoholism for citation. As the resident computard I've given up on the wonderful world of links.)[/QUOTE]
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Posting While High

Posted 02-02-2016 at 21:29 by Waiting For The Fall

When I first discovered Drugs-Forum, I believed I had found the place to learn about my new-found drug I was usingóMethamphetamine. Yes, I already knew about how to get high, how to use a needle and some of the bad feelings you'd get coming down from it. I started reading posts in the meth sub-forum, and I was surprised.

It seemed many suffered from Spelling Aversion Disorder. And some words were abbreviated, which I knew was what's referred to as txt-spk, impossible for some of our international members to decipher (and even older generation members such as myself). Getting beyond that was another problem: paragraphs that were over 100 lines long. And even if I waded through them, complete sentences were a rarity, and thoughts were abject and disconnected. What was the meaning to all of this?

It finally dawned...
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The edge of the dark

Posted 02-02-2016 at 17:54 by TFrankle
Updated 05-02-2016 at 15:43 by TFrankle (Fixing little mistakes)

There's a place I go, away to the south by the sea, cold and unwelcoming and marvellous, whipped by a wind that knows only endless miles of hostile ocean before finally racing gleefully across and up this yellowed hillside overlooking the bay.

I can see a line of old yew trees far off at the bottom of the hill by the shore, planted by someone who must have felt that they could bend this land to their use, bit by bit; a fence here, the rusting ruins of a small shed a bit further on, and behind that the foundations of a cottage, laid out in stones now half buried.

The trees at the water's edge are old, and their roots have been exposed by the pounding of the sea, in winter when the storms arrive. The grass grows long right up to the trunks and a pair of sea eagles have made this place their home. The trees at the...
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So here goes the job theory...

Posted 28-01-2016 at 02:14 by Tinkerblah

Yup. My job is better. But gee, show of hands of those who thought it would change my substance abuse issues. Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Somebody is counting the days until her next Ritalin and clonazepam rxs and is drinking over proofed liquors daily. Or more accurately each evening... I have a lot of tinking to do...
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Tapering schedule for the next few months.

Posted 26-01-2016 at 07:29 by Tryptomaniac

I currently have 20 capsules of tianeptine filled with about 400 ish mg of tianeptine left. This is my plan i used 5 capsules today as i have been the past 3 weeks. So tommorrow is tuesday.

Tuesday: 4 capsules of tianeptine 1 in the morning 1 before work around 5 and 2 an hour before bed to sleep.

Wednesday: 3 capsules of tianeptine 1 in the afternoon around 4-5 and 2 at night for sleep.

Thursday: 3 capsules of tianeptine 1 in the afternoon around 4-5 and 2 at night for sleep.

Friday-sunday: 2 capsules of tianeptine and 5-15 grams of kratom. 1 capsule of tianeptine in the afternoon and one at night plus kratom as needed no more than 15 grams in a day.

Monday-thursday: 1 capsule of tianpetine daily each at night before bed to help with sleep, kratom through the day...
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I feel like im losing myself in my addictions, heres my plan to get myself back...

Posted 21-01-2016 at 03:01 by Tryptomaniac
Updated 21-01-2016 at 03:10 by Tryptomaniac

Everyday i wake up in the morning i take something the second i wake up weather its kratom or a couple klonopin for a hangover, or if its a random "nootropic" or "drug" that i ordered offline and fell in love with like tianeptine.

A little bit ago on a "whats your thought thread" i lied and wrote i was a freshman in colledge because i was extremely embarrased of who i am Nd i dodnt want you guys to think im just some idiot ): yeah.... I failed my sophmore year in highschool and got held back a whole year.. So my mom said "im homeschooling you, so i know that you are trying because i know you have it in you". Well a couple years later and me not working hard enough, here i am..

19 years old, a senior in highschool, homeschooled and i have 2 classes left, I am absolutely...
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What happens when you just stop giving a fuck about everything?

Posted 20-01-2016 at 04:45 by Addicted2fakelove

I wish I could just be numb, because everything is so unbearably painful. Disassociating can only do so much for me, then reality shows its ugly face and it continues to rip my heart straight out of my chest. Reality is a soul crushing bastard who just won't leave me alone. I truly hate reality. It represents the cold hard truth and I'm so fucking sick of dealing with the truth. I refuse to deal with it anymore. I REFUSE.

I want to care about myself, but I just can't muster up the energy to anymore. Why should I care? I have no important destiny or purpose. I literally have nothing to offer anybody. I'm just useless flesh taking up space in this shitty world. I'm not seeking pity, I'm just being painfully honest. For once.

I tried though. I really did try.
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Starting the cycle

Posted 17-01-2016 at 22:10 by reef88

Quote:
Originally Posted by Morning Glory View Post
reef,

Don't be offended by Gonzo's forewarning - it comes from a place of genuine concern...and he is right. I am not really sure what you are hoping to gain from this, if not a really difficult future ahead.

Take a long, hard look at your lovely self in the mirror and ask yourself why you think this is a good idea, and why you feel you deserve to spiral into addiction... in the name of documentary?

You are surely someone who deserves a better life than that. Don't fuck with benzos! Smoke cannabis instead and call it day.
documenting isnt the point. i just recently got into benzos again and i thought i'd share with the people who dont know anything. plain and simple, i know exactly what im doing. i've been right here countless of times.
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Rating: 2 votes, 4.00 average.

The Human Bodies Ability To Repair Wounds.

Posted 01-01-2016 at 14:23 by detoxin momma

Among the numerous mechanisms that make life possible, is the bodies ability to heal wounds and regenerate damaged tissue. The process begins as soon as an injury occurs.

Consider: The healing process is made possible by a cascade of complex cellular functions:

*Platelets adhere to tissues around a wound, forming a blood clot, and sealing damaged blood vessels.

* Inflammation protects against infection and removes any debris caused by the injury.

* Within days the body begins to repair injured tissue, making the wound contract, and repair damaged blood vessels.

* Finally, scar tissue remodels and strengthens the damaged area.

Inspired by blood clotting, researchers are developing plastics that can "heal" damage to themselves.Such regenerating materials...
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12/31/2015

Posted 31-12-2015 at 17:24 by dot904

Today is the last day of 2015, which will end the year that I decided to kill my addiction. I feel so good about my decision. Feeling good emotional and physically are two different aspects, though.
Currently I feel alright, but that doesn't mean that I felt that way this morning. This morning was a little rough, but not too bad. I ended up waking up at 3 a.m. Of course I didn't mean to get up that early and stay up, but it happened. When I got back in the bed from putting icy hot on my back, Mike decided he wanted to talk. At first I was like, "really? It's freaking 3 in the morning." But, we really needed to reconnect, especially after yesterday.
After we spent our time together, I worked out and got ready for work. Man oh man, did my back hurt or what, though. It seemed like nothing was wanting to work. It took...
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12/30/2015

Posted 30-12-2015 at 23:28 by dot904

Well, I haven't posted here in a couple days, so I figured... why not? I know i'm going to want to look back on these one day, even if it's to just remind me why i took this journey. Why my life is so important to me. Why my sobriety is so important!

Today is day 5... yay! i do feel good about today. I won't lie, even with the suboxone today, I haven't felt too much like myself. I have been anxious, tired, grumpy, sore, and so forth. It's crazy that even with the little bit of subs, I can still feel some of the symptoms bursting through. Either way, I know this way is a lot more comfortable than if I had done cold turkey again. I am very foggy in the head, though. I'm not sure if that's from the detox, the subs, or both. Either way, I know in a week, month, year I will feel a little bit better than the one before! It's all...
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New me... Clean me!

Posted 28-12-2015 at 19:06 by dot904

I'm not sure if many individuals have had the opportunity to read through my forum post, but I have decided to start a blog of my own. This blog is to help me through each day's ups and downs, while, hopefully, becoming a positive influence on someone out there in cyber land. That someone who is too afraid to ask for help, but knows they need the help in order to save their life, the life that they deserve to live. I was that someone for a very long time. I watched the forums and read about other people's ups and downs for a good year before I decided to join and put my story out there for the world to read.

Here we go:
My addiction started a little short of 3 years ago. Before then, I only smoked the natural green and drank here and there. Rarely did I ever touch anything else. Before we get into my addiction, I want...
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What is higher than a kite?

Posted 26-12-2015 at 10:06 by Tinkerblah

Is it a cloud? A satellite? The moon? Crap I don't know but it's me. Will I get control of me? Can I get in control of me? Crap, do I even want to get I in control of me? Who the eff have I become? I don't even recognize myself anymore...
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Will 2015 please end already?

Posted 22-12-2015 at 04:07 by Tinkerblah

I have never used or abused so many substances in a year in my life. I know it's naive to think the New Year will bring a new me. But good God, I'm too old for this crap!
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You Can overcome Wasted Me...

Posted 17-12-2015 at 06:41 by Tinkerblah

Sober me:

You did so well today that I'm going to see if you have two days in a row in you. You can do it! I am drinking tonight but will attempt to make the aftermath ok for you with loads of water and some fish oil capsules.

Best wishes,

Wasted me
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The End

Posted 16-12-2015 at 16:10 by Ophiuchus (The Frying Pan-Things Always Get Hot In Here!)
Updated 19-12-2015 at 22:39 by Ophiuchus

The fire has died and the Frying Pan has grown cold. It's over. This has been coming for quite a long time and I have been fighting it off as best as I knew how, but the time has finally come to say my farewell. I have been hammered by loss over ther past few months, what with the loss of the Rotten Little Kittens and some important people in my life, but the biggie came just a few days ago.

The Dog died. As I related in other entries here, she was not doing too well for the past few months. She had a back injury which cause a partial paralysis in her rear legs. I spent thousands of dollars of tests and treatment, finally settling in with twice-weekly rehab therapies using laser, acupuncture, massage, and water treadmill exercises. She was actually improving, and had regained the ability to get up and slowly move about herself....
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Fav Video Games as of 2015

Posted 14-12-2015 at 08:20 by Alien Sex Fiend

Ghost Master
Ben and Ed
Bully
Max Payne +
Hitman +
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Aside from icky diphenhydramine, I was sober when I was sick.

Posted 11-12-2015 at 03:50 by Tinkerblah

WTH? I can stay sober and appropriately take my meds when I have a upper respiratory infection but have to be gone or waiting impatiently until it's time to be gone when I'm well?
I am not being whiny, I'm just observing my own behavior.

Also, I worked better sick. I guess that's because I was too tired to let my ADHD get out of the chair and why not get caught up if I couldn't wander about, right?

What's going to be interesting is how I feel Monday when I transfer from management back to a salaried 'individual contributer' as my workplace calls it. I've been convincing myself that I strayed off the path of rx misuse and introduced alcohol to the mix since I took a management job. While that was the truth from a time line perspective, will going back to being a work a day person help me get back on the...
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ordered love roses. how can i make this work?

Posted 10-12-2015 at 03:36 by millsy

Quote:
Originally Posted by SATAN666xx999 View Post
how can i make this work?

return them and order from ali express...look up love roses in glass bulb. I just bought some, I could send one to you too.
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9

Posted 06-12-2015 at 13:21 by NicoMc

Wasn't planning to update this. But the last week/ 10 days has made me want to.

I did call my friend as I said in "8" She didn't answer the first time. But I tried again a few hours later and she did.

Me: "Hi"
Her: "Hi"
Do you know who I am?
Yes. I can't talk now. I'm with my Dad
Will you ever talk to me again?
Yes. But can't talk now.
Ok. See you later

I took this as a GOOD thing. Maybe she's softening a bit. Text her the next day. Invite for chat. No reply. Left her alone for another week.



Feeling mischievous generally last week. Been having fun in my own life. So tried calling her. No reply (tbf could be working) Text her "Congratulations on the pregnancy. Give me a call" (we'd joked many times...
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Grieving and letting go

Posted 03-12-2015 at 20:54 by LittleBabyNothing (Something about nothing.)

Previous night I could not fall asleep and it was for good, because I finally let all emotions out. They have been piling up since funeral.

It is strange how I used to think that I will not reach 27 years and did a lot of stupid things, but now I realised that I have so many things to do that I am affraid of not managing to do them when that day will come.I just can not imagine that this whole process someday will stop.I have to be there for my children and husband.

This funeral really made me think about a lot of things.
But, what is strange, emotions what came to me yesterday were some kind of anger. I know, that it is part of grieving and that finally I just let it all go.

Maybe I am wrong, but I somehow feel like he is gone and is no longer here. It somehow makes everything seem lighter...
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Tommorrow starts my week tolerance break from Kratom here's my plan...

Posted 01-12-2015 at 05:54 by Tryptomaniac

Okay so since I'm starting to run low on Kratom supply and I could always use a tolerance break cuz why not! It's good for me! I'm going to order a good amount of Kratom tommorrow so I will be prepared when I come back but I'm going to try and keep it low on the drugs this week if I can get in the habit of taking breaks then I will have more money saved a larger stash of drugs! And it will just all together be a better time when I come back to them. Sound like a good plan??! I think 1 week a month off of MOST drugs is well needed and will allow my body to self heal and lower my tolerance I think I can do it as I'm not as dependent as I used to be especially on alcohol so I think I got this wish me luck!
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Too gone to post and yet I still want to...

Posted 29-11-2015 at 07:24 by Tinkerblah
Updated 30-11-2015 at 04:27 by Tinkerblah (Typo)

Honestly, I'm so gone my fingers are numb and I can only look at my iPad with one eye closed. I don't get why I feel human only when I can barely function. What the heck?
If anyone out there can understand, please respond.

I want to be happy sober. Really I do! But I can't seem to get there...
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Getting to that point...

Posted 26-11-2015 at 08:28 by Tryptomaniac

I'm getting to that point where I don't care about my health anymore I just want to remain high and drunk and I don't care what I Mix and how much my
Health is at risk or if I die I just am so depressed with my life it really just doesn't fucking Mather anymore, I would never commit suicide but when it comes to drugs I'd honestly do anything right now heroin, crack whatever I just want to get out of my head I don't like stimulants though so more opiates... I just want hard opiates right now Kratom isn't doing it for me... Although I'm drunk as fuck right now so we'll see what happens
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What the hell was that last post about!?

Posted 25-11-2015 at 18:09 by cbabycee

Jesus christ i just read my blog what the hell was i on?

It says i was 9 days clean which is a laugh as i used on day 6 or 7

Oh well. Im going to put it down to diazepam as that stuff even at 2mg sends me loooooopy

This will be more positive and honest.

I am 9 days clean from all opiates. I used gapepebtin for 4 days to get clean. I feel awesome.

Heres to DF. Heres to anyone out there reading this . Its a long hard road this recovery but its worth it. I know it is.

I wish i could hug each of you and wave a wand and make it better. But that would be cheating you from suceeding by yourself

Anyway happy happy thoughts
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