I have ADHD and I took adderall
on a daily basis for nearly 8 years straight, no breaks. Then one day during my senior year of highschool I decided to stop cold turkey
. Granted, I rarely went above the prescribed amount, but when I did I did so drastically (from 2-20 mg pills to upwards of 10). I suffered no side-effects (that I remember) nor did I feel any WD. Is this strange? Well, I digress.
It's funny to think back about how fucked up adderall made me, and I hate it (yet I still use it occasionally because of its miraculous effect on academia). Still, it can be so much worse and I could easily see how this could ruin someone's life. Diarrhea, extremely bad smelling farts, overly sweating from gym class, and social awkwardness, which stemmed from me being an asshole because I was clearly smarter than most of my peers. Towards my junior and senior year of highschool I had difficulty reaching ejaculation. Even though I was in sports I never did gain any muscle mass (and now I attribute this to adderall). I often would go without eating for a day or two without even realizing it. I stayed up until 4-5 in the morning almost every day playing videogames and woke up at 8 for school feeling like shit, but I'd pop those pills and feel what I thought was "normal".
sidenote*- anyone remember or do 'heart rate day' for gym class? What a breeze... all I had to do was walk around a track for 35 minutes to get my heartrate up to 140 BPM. OR, my favorite was having a shriveled up dick every fucking day thinking I just had a small penis. After swimming in gym my dick and sac would turn blue/purple from being so constricted, which lead to embarassing locker-room experiences. I also recently learned that the 'sac shriveling' can be partially permanent, which explains a few things.
There were positives though. I never did homework and aced all the tests without studying or putting forth any effort whatsoever easily granting me B's and C's. I was captain of the chess team, and whether I have a natural gift for strategy or if it was Adderall that just made me great; I'll never know.
When I was off Adderall I was horny, tired, had a bottomless stomach, was easily irritable and emotional.
I stopped taking adderall for nearly 1.5 years (and my GPA went from 2.8 in highschool to a 1.8 in college, ouch) during the time I went from 140 lbs at 6'2 to 175 lbs at 6'4. I'm much healthier now. I decided that instead of putting forth any effort I would take adderall again, but not on a daily basis. This drastically increased my GPA and academics. Not only this, but it encouraged me to get back in shape, clean my room and all the common things one does when on Adderall. AFOF occasionally buys adderall from his FOAF and uses that money to support his other drug
Adderall as a prescribed drug taken every day has drastically shaped who I am today. I wish my mother never put me on this medication so I could have learned to cope. I struggle to pay attention in class when I'm not on the meds, and I honestly believe that procrastinating becoming second nature to me was due to the ease at which I could accomplish tasks. A habit I regret everyday.
My advice to any parent is to not give your child 'kiddy crack
' if they have ADD or ADHD. In the long run learning to cope with it is just infinitely more beneficial. In all honesty, I'm surprised I escaped addiction
as I could have easily abused it, but never did and yet here I sit with a near full bottle containing 40-20 mg D-Amphetamine
, obtained through a prescription. My cat often has temptations of crushing the XR pills and snorting
them, but he fears it will lead him down a path he will regret. However, it's almost a surity that he will try this, and love it as he recently loved taking pills for no reason other than to 'have a good day'.
Adderall has made me interested in stimulant-drugs
I know will probably ruin my life, but whatever.
Sorry this is a jumble, but I only recently came upon all these realizations after reading about adderall; a thing I didn't even do when I was prescribed it. How stupid of me.
Anyone else prescribed Adderall for a legitimate reason (not to fulfill addiction), and now realize how it changed and shaped you as a person?