My dogs brother found out on Friday that he had a drugs
test for a job he had applied to, being conducted at 08:45 on Monday morning. To celebrate the job offer, and as is customary for a dog on a Friday night, he went to the local pubs and clubs.
My dogs brother got really smashed, and as a result, found himself in the toilet with a Labrador he had met. The Labrador offered my dogs brother a large line of the devils dandruff (high quality), of which he gladly accepted. Around 5 minutes after he had taken said line, he realised what he had just done, and blew his nose. This came too late however as the high was already there. Being intoxicated, he continued to party until the club closed around 3am, and came home searching web forums on the subject of cocaine
Noting that the metabolites of cocaine are water soluble and can therefore be flushed from the body with water usage, my dogs brother drank 3 pints of water before falling asleep.
The next day, the panic really set in, coupled with a cokeover. This was devastating. Many thoughts crossed my dogs brothers head, including substitution. He researched this method and decided this was the way forward.
Over Saturday and Sunday, he consumed around 10 litres of water each day, just in case a suitable substitute could not be found.
Monday morning came, NO SUBSTITUTE.
My dogs brother would now like to quote another writers work on how to dilute urine on the day of the test:
"Step 1. 4-12 hours before the test take 4 aspirin (not Tylenol or Advil). This step may be repeated every 4-6 hours up until 4 hours before the test.
Step 2. 3-4 hours before your test, start by drinking 2, 8oz. glasses of water. Water can be substituted for with Cranberry or fruit juice, teas or even soft drinks. Then drink another 8oz. every 15 minutes for the next hour for a total of 6 glasses of water (48oz).
Step 3. In about 1 - 2 hours (depending on your system) you should be voiding ‘clear’ urine about every 15 - 20 minutes. Continue to drink 3-4 oz. more water to replace what you've voided every 20-30 minutes.
Step 4. 1-2 hours before the test, take vitamin B2 or B complex (about 10 times the daily recommended dosage). If the vitamins are time release, crush them before taking. You may also take vitamin B with each glass of water, 2 times the daily dosage, if you find it easier.
That's it. Within 30 - 45 minutes of taking your vitamins, if you took your vitamin B in 1 dose, your pee should turn from clear to "vitamin" yellow and remain so for the next 2-4 voids. Be sure you have voided diluted urine at least 3-4 times before you test."
My dogs brother followed these instructions, with the exception of step 1.
My dogs brother arrived at the testing area, which was within the company. An external lab was sourced in to conduct testing. I will now outline the process of the test, as dictated by my dogs brother, as he could not find much info on-line about what actually happens.
My dogs brother was asked to fill in some paperwork, stand up and take his dog jacket off, and empty his dog pockets. The technician kept an eye out for any bulges in clothing, with particular emphasis on the gooch area between his ass and dog balls. My dogs brother was relieved at this point that he had not tried to smuggle anything, because he would have most definitely been caught.
He was then led to a toilet, where the technician added blue die to the toilet, and instructed him not to flush or use the sink.
He pissed into the cup, using piss from mid-stream.
He then have this to the technician, who added some of the piss into a smaller cup, and added the drug
testing strips. This tested for the 5 main drugs, including cocaine.
After about a 3 minute, tense wait, my dogs brother was informed that he had passed the drugs test.
This article confirms it is possible to pass a cocaine test, albeit with light usage, after 55 hours.