Dead thread I know, but I read it yesterday so someone else still will.
Found myself with nothing for the first time in a year or so after legitimate use of 40-80mg/oxycodone
per day. Always was able to find some somewhere during outages before but this time the area was dry and I got scared. I've been through w/d before and remembered how horrible it was - honestly wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. My w/d are always the same - cold sweats, shaking, unbelievable psychological discomfort and restlessness/anxiousness, thoughts of using literally every 2-5 min, diarrhea, and restless legs syndrome
. Also sometimes a feeling of my muscles gently being pulled from my bones.
This time I knew what to expect of course and planned early. Went to urgent care and got some tramadol
(only 24 of them) and weaned my self very quickly - high doses till the next to last day I took 4 then 2 on the last day.
Dont worry, this doesn't change the story because tapering so quickly did absolutely nothing and w/d hit me like a brick at 5:08 am the next day. Immediate fear about the day and what I was about to go through. Had to work a double that day from 8am - 7pm. Hell. Spent a good combined hour of the day calling everyone I knew, even old old contacts trying to find something. No dice.
So I got on this forum and found the posts about DXM
. After reading a dozen posts and also studying erowid and even reading one peer-reviewed academic paper on the help DXM could offer for w/d, I ran straight to the store on my way home and grabbed a bottle. I decided 100mg was good to start. I weigh 150lbs and am not that heavy of a user compared to other people so i figured that was plenty.
An hour later my symptoms were reduced by I'd say 50-60%. Was less concerned about finding something, restlessness was mitigated, and i just generally felt better. Not too dissociative really, no out-of-it feeling. Just an easing of symptoms. What do you think my next thought was? "More. 50-60% ain't cutting it." When i got home, i immediately slammed another 50mg. Figured that would do.
You know how when you do acid or shrooms
, after like 30 min you're thinking, "i don't think this is working. I better take more." So you do, and 10 min later it hits you all of a sudden and you regret taking more? Yeah. I wasn't smart enough to think about this. After 30 min of the second dose, i was definitely feeling a bit dissociated but still not good enough. 70% reduction in symptoms. "Better take another 25mg and I'll be good, but that's it."
When i was a kid we used to "Robo-trip" or do "triplets" (coricidin
) at really high doses, third plateau or so and i instantly got terrified i was gonna start a ride to plateau 2. No good. I have a 2-yr-old at home and am a very good father, never been out of it in front of her before and while her mom was here to do most of the heavy lifting, i knew if i started a trip I'd be useless and have to confess my mistake.
The anxiety of the impending trip was driving me nuts. Now my w/d symptoms were completely gone and had changed to that horrible place right before an acid trip when your heart is pumping, you think you have to poop but you don't, sweaty palms, checking waving hands for tracers, etc. Now im thinking, ok, this sucks, but pretty soon ill start tripping and at least I can try to get some enjoyment out of it. But that never came. No visuals, no laughing, no trippy hippy fun. Just pure, agonizing anxiety, restlessness, sweating, no chance of sleep, and terrified cause now I know I have 6-8 more hours of this coming.
After an hour or so I couldn't stand it anymore. I popped a few Benadryl
and laid down in bed, got as comfortable as I could, and watched old episodes of Seinfeld, which comforts me. I finally passed out around 10:00 and woke up 15 min later with my body vibrating very very slowly, like the cyclic feeling from an old magic fingers bed. Freaked me out. Looked around expecting OBE but nothing - still just discomfort, no trip.
I went downstairs and popped a few more Benadryl, smoked a cigarette, and laid back down. Finally passed out two agonizing hours later.
I woke up at 8am next morning, which surprised me as during w/d I generally wake up at 5am on the dot. I felt cine when I woke up and w/d diminished to 30-50% of the day before.
So that's my experience. Hope it helps someone out there. The lesson I take from it? Smallish o/d of DXM definitely helps with w/d. But don't overdo it. The purgatory between w/d and full trip is way, way worse than the w/d themselves. Give the DXM some time to kick in before you try more - TRUST me. We used to take 600-1000mg and feel AWESOME. 175mg does not produce the same effect to a lesser degree. It just plain sucks.
I recommend trying the DXM at a low dose and just deal with even a 50% reduction in w/d. Isn't that better than 0%? Yes. And it is definitely better than overdoing it and hating every second.
Best of luck my friends. W/d suck hardcore and my last recommendation would be for people in my position: Legitimate users who have high tolerance and need to take extra for pain, and therefore run out sometimes; Try small doses of subutex
. It does, indeed, work for pain at small doses (Under 8mg/day) but does not work for pain at high doses. Weird I know but look it up. I traded a friend straight across, my opiates
for his subutex for a few months and it was bliss. Long lasting pain relief with no need to up my dose. If you get it from a doctor for withdrawals they will prescribe up to 16-32mg/day and you can take less for your pain and build up a surplus and never run out.
Take it from me, it works. I hope you feel better, from the bottom of my heart. Needing pain killers and yet wishing you didn't and could get away from them sucks, but adopt the harm reduction
strategy: If you have to take them, reduce the harm it is causing you in any way you can rather than trying an unsuccessful endeavor of quitting. Pain killers are a godsend for debilitating pain and are a miracle but you must be responsible.