This is going to be a long post. It has to do with my experience with GHB
. Hopefully we can expand on this and learn about how it affects the body and brain, and how we can affectively learn to live without these or simmilar substances.
Im almost 25 now. I was 16 the first time i tried GHB. Peer pressure is a bitch. My older cousin to be exact. I started using it as an alternative to alcohol
. Going to teen clubs on the weekends and being very responsible with it.
From what i had read, there was only good things about it. Increase in Growth Horomone. No Calories. No liver damage like alcohol. Immensely cheap compared to alcohol Spend less than 10 dollars to be fuked up for the night. Good for someone health concious and who worked out.
Well for the next 6 years GHB was my alcohol. I never drank. I hated drinking. I never used GHB 24/7. I figured that was how you got addicted and got the side effects
and dependance (man was i wrong). I only used G, when i was going out to a club or bar or party.
One thing that happened was, I started going out every night. For the last 6 years, i was a hardcore clubber if you will. Pretty popular guy, always at the hottest clubs, all the hookups anyone can want. I knew everyone in the city. Went out about 5 days a week minimum.
School was going good too. No hangovers the next day, i breezed through college.
So 2 years ago i decided i needed to quit GHB. Many reasons. The main reason though was, I got to the point that i couldnt get fuked up any more. I would take some G, and not feel anything, and keep taking more, untill it would make me pass out. It was shitty. I could not get that feeling. I was either sober, or passing out.
So i quit. And all was downhill from there. I slowly stoped going out. Depresssion. Anxiety. No good feelings in my life. No will to do anything. Brain works like shit. Horrible memory. Cant remember what i did 2 nights ago without thinking about it hard. Short term memory is Crap. Conversational skills have gone to zero. Wittyness and comedy have left me. Sex drive and sociability have left. No confidence what so ever. No will to live. A general foggy and unmotivated brain.
Its been 2 years since i last used g on a regular basis. I have tried using alcohol for social situations as most everybody does. But alcohol does nothing for me. I get drunk, but i dont have a better time. I get more depressed. Since then, ive used G a couple times, if one of my friends happened to have it, maybe 4-5 times. And i must tell you, when i have taken it, i felt amazing! But its not the path i want to take. Im thinking about the future and how i can become a normal happy person once again.
I have been doing much research to find the cause of my depression. Many things poing to GHB. Dopamine
defficiency, or something of that nature, maybe desensitized receptors or neurons, or down regulation or even nurons that have been destroyed. Maybe a chemical imbalance. Im not a neurologist, but i can tell you that i am on the way to becoming one with all that i have researched.
If anyone has anything simmilar to share, please do so. Maybe we can work on finding out what is going on.
I used G, from 16-23, while my brain and body were still developing, so i can imagine that the effect on me might be different then somebody who started at 22 or 25 or used it for a shorter period of time.
I was thinking about taking some dopamine agonist type of antidepressants
. Maybe even Ritalin
, and slowly helping get some balance back into my brain.
Any comments or advice are much appreciated.