A few years back...
did cough syrup for a year straight when she was 17.
It was the best fuckin year ever.
And SWIM loves K. But that shit's hard to find. SWIM lives in tha straight up ghetto in NY n thinks PCP
wouldn't be too hard to find.
just suck. Way too short. Waste of money.
Whenever SWIM does DXM
now she can't trip anymore. Just that weird surreal feeling.
But she'll try to down 4 bottles at once and feel like shit for an hour and usually just puke it all up. Then amount she would need to trip now is much more than her stomache can handle anymore. [DXM pretty much beat the living shit outta it.]
She doesn't even do it like that. Just a trip attempt every couple of months to half a year or so, massive dose, ...nothing.
SWIM misses trippin. =c
N SWIM's been kinda depressed cuz the world is boring and normal and uneventful and she hasn't had a chance to escape.
But tha one thing she's wonderin about is tha adrenaline
rush. She's got panic disorder so adrenaline rush = panic attacks
IS it like... a HUGE adrenaline rush? Or jus kinda like doin a bunch of uppers?
Surprisingly SWIM LOVES speedy stuff. Even tho she hasta kind of lay there and not move around much on em or else her heart feels like it gonna fuckin burst or she freaks out.
Hopefully that'll maybe be the case for PCP too. Either way I'm gonna tell my roomates no matter what don't let me outside.
For the first time SWIM just plans to do a LITTLE bit...then a bit more...then a bit more. Till she gets to just entering the trippin threshhold, but not like fucked up outta her mind she doesn't know who she is or where she is or who her roomates are.
But then again this is PCP so who knows.
One other thing...for all the SWIYs who had horrible experiences on it. Was it worth it?
Even if it was hell, was it worth it just even to appreciate life a bit more after you come back from the bowels of hell? Or was it so unspeakably horrible you'll never forget it and it wasn't worth it and you'll always regret it?