warning: long post
LOL @ the brother story
I got quite a few, I guess I get really high sometimes
I'm in college and smoking pot
here is frowned upon and highly punishable. One of the first times blazing here I went into some bushes with my friends. We smoked for a while, then I saw some cops! I got extremely paranoid, rushed everyone, didn't even finish the bowl, just dumped it out, put everything in my underwear, and SPRINTED as fast as I could outta the bushes. I guess I was really stoned as I was running, so what I thought was a clear patch of grass to run on was actually a large, thick, ~4ft tall bush which fucked me up. After struggling through that fucking forest and finally getting out, I realized I had lost ALL my shit (including student ID, dorm room key, etc)......... but at least the cops didn't get me. NO WAIT, there were no cops. Apparently I just saw some random lights and thought it was cops. My friends clowned on me for a while.
Actually this story's better:
(Before reading this keep in mind that I was 18 and a first year in college)
First night drinking/blazing at the same time. Went out to a party, REALLY fucked up, feeling outta reality. I'm half azn, and I saw a girl who looked half azn, so I approached her and made simple conversation (no intent to mack). I forget what happened, but about an hour later I found myself making out w/ her on the dance floor. Good news? no, I see her face and I feel like committing suicide
(i.e.: she was really unattractive). It's late and I don't know where my friends are, there dance floor is just me and her... and a drunk couple making out in the corner. I tell her "I'm sorry, but I gotta find my friends, im really fucked up, gotta go, I'll call you"....... BUT shes like "no, you'll never call me again! youre just gonna leave me!". After failed attempts to bounce I conjured up a plan.
Me: So, what year are you?
Girl: First year. you?
Me: I'm a fifth year. I'm 25. Man you're pretty young, this is kinda weird
Girl: No it's not! that's so cool! But wait, why do you live in the dorms? (freshmen live in the dorms usually)
Me: uhhh...... well..... I'm an RA. yea... and I have a single.. u know, trying to get back into the dorm scene..
Girl: ohhhh.... you have a single??? hey let me come up!
me: uhh well.... they have room checks.. at 2 AM.. every... wednesday night. of every other month. i mean it's because or else ppl house random ppl in their singles, and if i get caught i gotta do community service, etc.
So I walk the girl back, for some reason we make out again (I shoulda just brought her back if I was gonna be that dumb), and I FINALLY get rid of her and walk back thinking it's all over
an hour later I get a call from an unknown number. I pick up and someone is yelling at me. It's the [ugly] girl. Turns outthe girl isone of my good friend's roommates. She told her a story of making out w/ a 5th year 25 year old RA and her roommate got pretty pissed and told her the truth.
End result: all my friends find out I made out w/ my friend's ugly roommate, I get clowned on for a number of weeks, and all the girls hate me for a while because I'm a sneaky liar who tricks ugly girls into making out with them.
Keep in mind that I'm not actually a jackass like that, I was just REALLY fucked up =)