2.5 years on suboxone....SUCCESSFULY kicked and clean! JOURNAL - Part 5

By opikitten · Dec 7, 2014 · ·
  1. Re: heroin addict/2.5 years on subutex cold turkey SUCCESSFULY kicked and CLEAN

    Hi pimentinha! I think its great to use subutex as a tool in fetting off heroin if thats what you need. I too, for whatever reason,, could not get clean on my own. Subutex helped me transition from active drug seeking addiction, to being stabalized on the medication..during that time though, i got a job and peiced my life back together.

    I definately think subs are an amazing tool to transition, but they arent the be all and end all solution. (I thought they were and 2.5 years later...i was still on the shit). For me, personall, NA and working a 12 step program helped me figure out what was going on that i wanted to be numb in the first place. I attended meetings for 6 months before i tried detoxing, and my detox was succesfuly. Na has given me the tools to deal with and cope with life on lifes terms, and for me, i didnt have that. I didnt know how the fuck to deal with my emotions, so i numbed them.

    I think you should def try subs treatment, but have a plan. No longer than a month or two. And take steps to heal whats wrong underneath the drugs. Subutex/suboxone should be used as a transitional medication, not replacememt as you said. Find some meetings in your area. I thought na was a cult, but it ultimately has saved my life. I still attend meetings every week, im of service, and my life has changed. I graduated school this week too :)
    i wish you love and strength on your journey. You can do this! Xo


  1. pimentinha
    Re: heroin addict/2.5 years on subutex cold turkey SUCCESSFULY kicked and CLEAN

    Hi Opikitten

    Again thank you so much for your message and support, I am really need of support as I don't have my parents alive anymore .... only have brother who lives literally the other side of the world .... being hooked on H as you know it we end up disappearing from people's lives ...

    The closest friends I had and trusted with my addiction they left me end up badly .... they say I've changed .. Yes I did, the addiction, not having money ... can't go far anymore for too long because of withdrawals ... and the depression that comes with Heroin and such a change in life financialwise ... apart from that I am the same ... never stole anything from anyone, never will ... never hurt anyone on purpose ... I am still the same person ... but suffering an addiction ... they accusing me of changing for someone else ... not been me anymore .... I am still me but broke inside and out ...

    So I am on my own ... literally .. have no one else ... my only friend the only one supporting me is the one who introduced me to heroin in the first place, can't blame on him because it was me who asked for, he never offered ... actually took him a while for him to give me some to try after asking so much ... i am the only one to blame...

    I am very scared ... starting on subs scared of relapsing again ... mentally would break me .. need to be strong, really hoping that subutex will help me in this transition ... I'll try and go to NA meeting and keep myself busy... need new habits... new friends new life ....

    Again thank you for your reply and support ...

    :) P <3
  2. prisilla
    Re: heroin addict/2.5 years on subutex cold turkey SUCCESSFULY kicked and CLEAN

    This is my second post to DF. The posts I am reading here tell a lot of my story and struggle for sobriety. I appreciate the sharing a lot...
    In march this year I went cold turkey from 4/8 or so of suboxone. It was rough and I can hardly remember most of it.
    In September a minor surgery set me back into using again. Oxycodone, hydros,whatever. What was the worst about it was the fear of loosing control again so fast.
    Today I saw my doctor and was able to tell him some of my story and that I didn't want to go back. I have been taking 5/325 oxycodone for 3 months. He gave me some meds to ween off and even though I don't feel great (yet), I know I am heading in the right direction.
    He gave me Neurontin, clonidine and cut the oxy from 3 a day to 2. I am not willing to go cold turkey again, but I do have to hand them over to someone who can help me stay on track but 2 a day is like nothing.
    My muscles are in knots from having nothing for the last 10 days although I did use some kratom and loperimide which helped some.
    I relate to the feeling that I will die without the little bit of willingness which is a gift. I hope that this will get better soon..I have a lot to live for. I was just married in December of 2013 and we have found a beautiful house and will be moving at the end of the month. My husband has been sober for over twenty years and myself have 3 without drinking anyway. Fortunately he is not a pill addict like me. I hope I posted to the right forum. And thanks for being here all of you.
  3. Brooklyn11
    Re: heroin addict/2.5 years on subutex cold turkey SUCCESSFULY kicked and CLEAN

    Wow that post brought me back to my early withdrawl days ...I'm only 7 months clean but still you forget all those crazy emotions ready to burst out of you ... my whole addiction and recovery seems so exciting compared to the stability I enjoy now.

    I was dieing when you were talking about showering.... I remember those showers.. like in total slow motion.. stopping 5 minutes in between the soap and the shampoo.. I could never tell if it was just the extreme anxiety or the depression slowing you down like that.

    congrats on 1 year ^_^
  4. ufa2162
    Re: heroin addict/2.5 years on subutex cold turkey SUCCESSFULY kicked and CLEAN

    Opikitten........nice story :) :) :) congrats......getting off opiates/opioids. Is possible :) :) :) u just have to WANT to be clean
  5. oxyroxmysox
    Re: heroin addict/2.5 years on subutex cold turkey SUCCESSFULY kicked and CLEAN

    I have to admit I haven't even finished reading your entire post, but I got to the point where you officially decided to begin your taper and I had to comment telling you that I have been brought to tears by everything you've said. especially when you would recall the person you once were and wanting to get that girl back, even questioning if she still existed.. that fucking broke me so much because it was like looking in a mirror. through reading your post I have awaken all of the pain inside of me that it so similar to what you were going against too. I still having to finish reading your post but, I just wanted to say, thank you for letting someone who is still way behind you on the road to recovery know that there IS hope to beating this. for the record, I am still at the state where I have been prescribed suboxone but I keep going back and forth between being on sub and relapsing on H or pills. the most I have ever gone on Subs was a month this past summer. recently it hasn't even been able to get to more than 2 weeks. it is truly the darkest, most painful and hopeless feeling I have ever known to exist. and like you, there was once someone inside of me that would have been disgusted a shocked to know that the current me even exists. anyway, thank you for sharing something that I could relate to so much. I am still crying..
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