35 years of drug taking - Part 1

By supermono · Nov 22, 2014 · ·
  1. Hello everybody,
    I am new here and I,m just looking for a little support from the members here and hopefully I can support others.
    I started smoking hash when I was 15 which led onto speed,lsd, coke etc and then when I was in my early 20's opiates. It was all good fun to begin with as I,m sure some of you will recognise.

    I,ve been to rehab twice and never did more than 49 days clean in 35 years. I wanted to be clean but the power of addiction always lead me back, first to a few cans and joints and then back into OXY, MST,valium, and DHC etc.

    I could write pages but dont think this will help much and you all know how it goes anyway.

    So now I have given up alcohol just over 3 weeks ago which is good. I have cut down to 120mg DHC twice a day now and am reducing by 30 mg every 2 days and hopefully in ten days or so ( when the DHC runs out) I,ll be down to zero. I know what to expect as far as withdrawl goes and also how low and depressed I may well feel as I drop my dose down.

    I feel that I have never really been me over the last 35 years because all I do is get wrecked. I do work when I can although my back is very bad at the mo so dont feel upto it. But I like to work but when I do I get home and all I do is crack a beer,wine. Skin up and take what ever is to hand, MST, OXY ,DHC etc.Thats all I,ve done for years. Boring or what ?

    I am determined to try and find out who I really am by being clean and not taking any drugs. To lead a more normal life whatever that is.

    I suppose one of the worst bits is I buy all my meds on line. I dont even have to leave my home, I just wait for the postman to deliver whatever I have ordered. Its too easy for me.

    So I hope to chat with some of you over the coming weeks and months about how I am getting on and if I can I will help and encourage others who have similar addiction problems.

    Thanks for reading and good luck to everybody.

Comments

  1. Jungledog
    Supermono,

    Welcome to DF my friend. You will find love and support here. You will also find that DFers really care for each other and so sometimes they may challenge your thoughts a bit. This is a good thing as it helps us work through whatever is the underlying cause of our substance abuse.

    Congrats on being 3 weeks clean off alcohol and good luck with your taper. The getting clean part is really difficult but I think the staying clean part is worse. We need to figure out how to build a life unsupported by drugs. It sounds like you have reflected on this. Use this place to plan your future. Read the threads of others, especially the ones that got clean and see what helped them and see if those things might work for you.

    Wish you the very best.

    Hugs,
    JD
  2. supermono
    Thanks for your support jungledog. Its good to know that others can help me and vise versa.
    Peace
  3. lostlygirl
    Welcome! What is DHC? I've been on opiates for 15 yrs, so not quite as long as you. JD is right, it's hard work that requires challenging pretty much everything you do and why.

    What has kept you using all these years?

    Hugs, xxoo
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