Good evening everyone, hope your all doing well.
I slept last night for the first time in 3 days, maybe 3 or 4 hours. Not much but I feel the benefit. Sleep is good !! I,ve had a good day so far. I didnt take any codeine until 11.30 which is really good. I have had no valium and dont feel any withdrawl. I really think I went too fast on my taper and was very confused with what I had taken and when. I have taken 60mg of codeine phosphate today and I make that the equivalent of 40mg Dihydracodeine and its held me very well today. Nearly 7 and 1/2 hours ago. This is strange because I would think its gone through me by now. I had a small breakfast. Did some chores which for me is quite amazing. I went for a walk for an hour then round to my neighbours for tea and a chat. I used to work for them and they treat me like a son. My back felt good after the walk. Sore now but OK. I bumped into several other neighbours and merrily chatted away. None of them know about my addiction.
Its quite clear to me that when I am on my own withdrawl and feelings are worse than when I,m with other people. I must keep up the human contact as I have isolated myself for a long time. Drugs do that to me. People are my DOC now.
I,ve been food shopping and I,m making a Thai red chicken curry. I think I just have to get on with my life now, so I am distracted from any withdrawl. I did feel a little down when I came home earlier as I am now on my own,but feel Ok if not good.
I have the Chiropractor tomorrow and maybe he can weave some magic into my back. My neighbour also offered me a massage. She does it for a living but she is too attractive for me. haha.! And I would feel uncomfortable with that.
I am still going to taper but much slower than before I had my crash.
Even if that means taking 2 or 3 times as long, then thats fine by me. I even started to look for some work but couldnt find much. It will come in time but I realise that this is also dangerous. Going to fast could be my undoing. I will have to get some more Codeine. Its on the way. I,m listening to Classic FM which is very soothing and relaxing. I,m no classical fan but cant listen to anything else at the mo.
I,m going to wait before taking anymore codeine. I will wait to see whats going on with my withdrawls.
I am back on the vapouriser to get my nicoteine fix which is also good. I am amazed at how well they work. All it does is give me the nicoteine I need. There is very little research on them as they are fairly new to the market but it seems that many smokers are switching. ( Fuck the greedy tobacco companies your screwed now ). I,m sure its better than smoking cigs.
I did have a slight craving for some alcohol but it passed very quickly. I just told myself I dont want you in my life knowing than one drink could undo all the hard work I have put in since sitting in my hotel room in Portugal realising that unless I stop all the drugs its going to kill me. Alcohol is a class A drug make no mistake about that.
I,d like to thank everyone who has shown me support since I joined DF. All of you are wonderfull. Sleep well my freinds.