35 years of drug taking - Part 31

By supermono · Dec 21, 2014 · ·
  1. JD and lostly........Very funny. You read my mind. I once posted up on a website asking how many valium it would take to kill a dog. If I do it now the police will know its me. I don't feel good today. I feel low. Don't feel like doing anything. just keep warm, eat at my mums and watch rubbish TV. I keep getting anxiety when I go to bed ! Really weird , don't know why. Then I have to take some xanax and I dont want to take that shit.

    Still, things will improve slowly. I am confident of that. Staying clean is the important part of my life. I remind myself right now how horrible my life was. How bad the wdrls were. How my work suffered. How I was on my knees. I was a suffering addict. Now I,m a suffering addict in recovery but it will improve. It does get better.

    I,ve a little work to do so that will bring a few pennys in. A good start. I want X mas and the new year over so I can get back to work, expend energy and return to unaided sleep. Being tired and sleeping is so good but will take a little time. Patience mono be patient my man. It will come.

    Stay clean everybody. Thinking of you all. Praying we all get well


  1. Jungledog

    Yes, it really does come down to patience. Healing from this stuff takes a long time. One just wants to be better now and it does not work that way. It takes time.

    I also think that the drugs fuck up our brain chemistry. This is why many addicts need SSRIs for a few months to help manage anxiety and depression. Buspar is another drug that helps anxiety that doesn't have the benzo withdraw hell connected to it. Doing the yoga is super important too. Our sympathetic nervous systems are totally fucked from the drugs. Yoga helps calm and reset things.

    Hang in there my friend. Interesting fact is dogs require much higher doses of drugs than humans. My doberman (dead now) had anxiety. She was small. Weighed about 70 lbs. she required 10mg of valium just to calm her a little bit. (Like we used to treat her at 4th of July because she was scared to death of the fireworks). A normal non-addict adult human would only need 1 mg.
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