Hi everyone, Yep still here. Still pluggin away. Thanks for all you love and support people. It means more than you will ever know
I,ve been a bit grumpy and haven't had anything to say but I,m still clean. Its been fekin close though. I got strong cravings yesterday evening. The monkey on my back says "Go on, just a little wine and a smoke and it will help you sleep".
That's bollocks. It will only make everything worse. it will lead to ruin and continue the cycle of addiction. So I just shout out very loudly...."Fuck OFF" repeatedly. Its working.
I would like to apologise if I have offended anyone with the "clean" bit.It was never my intention to do so. I have cross addicted all my life and I do not want others to do so. I have my views of which I am entitled. I have thought long and hard about it. So if I have offended anyone here then I'm sorry.
Maybe there is a God. His, her or its name is called "Sleep". Glorious, wonderful, beautiful sleep. it has been so bad, it was getting to me. So I changed a few things yesterday. I didn't take any chinese herbs. I watched my favourite comedian Dave Allen (RIP) in the evening whilst lying on the floor and that's where I slept. Maybe I got 6 hours. I never really know as I don't clock watch. But its working, the sleep thing that is. I only hope it continues. I still have a lot of shite coming out of my body as I sweat from the chest when I'm asleep. I wake up cold because of it. Better out than in I say. I get bad headaches too and I won't take anything for them but they seem to pass quite quickly. My body still aches all over, so i just keep having hot baths.
Not much more to say folks, except keep working on your sobriety, it does get better. I get a little bit better everyday and so you will too. Its tuff but togther we are strong. If you see the monkey tell it to fuck off. Have a wonderful day. Peace, love and eternal happiness Mono X
supermono added 15 Minutes and 38 Seconds later...
Hi, just rereading your posts.
JD my inspirational friend. You are wise. I agree you have to manage your pain. I am not judging you or anyone else. you will find your own way as I think we all do. Love you X
Lostly, Norfolk lady. Its an interetsing topic. but I can't drink alcohol as I will abuse it. I have started a thread in general addiction. "What does clean mean to you" I better go have a look. Oh and its day 6 but doesnt mean much to me. I have some goals and they will be posted in time. Love you too X
Tasteful, thanks for your support mate it always means a lot. Love you X
supermono added 14 Minutes and 16 Seconds later...
I knew that thread would be controversial. Ooops
supermono added 236 Minutes and 30 Seconds later...
Been down the firework shop......Going to be a good night tonight. I love fireworks.