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  1. What an awesome achievement it is to be 6 weeks clean for the first time in probably 10 years!

    Sadly some days I feel like I've gone backwards. Yesterday and today were both one of those days. I've felt very run down and achy with little to no energy or motivation. This seems to happen every time I have a day off work. At work I dont have a choice so I'm thinking maybe its partially mental?

    The 4 days leading up to these last 2 were really looking up. My energy had seemed to greatly increase and I was getting that sense of "I'm almost better" then wham! It reminds me this is a long process. Each week I just hope and pray that it will be the week where the small lingering issues vanish and I know that one of these weeks they will.

    Looking forward to going back to work tomorrow after the weekend off to see if it makes me feel more energy and motivation. On a positive note I took some of the money I've been saving not paying for doc apts/meds and rewarded myself with a new rifle this morning!

    Hope you all have a good week and I will update if I feel any changes

    About Author

    Kickingthedemond88
    Free from the soul killing subutex since 3/4/18
    Ondonznow70 likes this.

Comments

  1. Ondonznow70
    Congratulations to you! That’s amazing! Be so proud of yourself you are doing it! I think mental part does play a factor definitely but you are in PAWS. So you will have ups and downs! Did depression hit you? I’m still weaning off methadone highest dose was 175.5 mg a day down to 40-50 mg a day! I’m proud of myself too! I still have a ways to go but I am lucky that I’m able to have a Sr that’s allowing me to taper very slowly! Keep posting! I love this place it’s helping me to talk to others who know exactly what if feels like!
    Blessings
  2. Kickingthedemond88
    @Ondonznow70
    Thanks!

    I'm proud of you too! Keep fighting the good fight!

    I did feel a little depression for about 3 or 4 days around 3-4 weeks but nothing major. I knew to expect it so I quickly recognized it and diverted those feelings to positives. I went out that weekend with friends and had a blast. Sometimes all we need is to show ourselves that life can be more fun drug free!

    I never enjoyed much of anything on subutex. I was so numb and drowsy all the time that I became an emotionless hermit. Now my personality has come back and I'm so much more social and fun. I even enjoy having a few beers here and there now! I didnt drink at all the whole 6 years on subutex, it made me feel like crap.

    Getting off the methadone is seriously the best thing you can do for yourself but it's not easy. It's a long journey so hang on tight and enjoy your ride to freedom! Once that ball and chain breaks there is no other greater gratitude! I dont even have cravings or want subutex anymore at all. Once my energy gets where it needs to be I will be so happy.

    Keep it up, my friend!
  3. Ondonznow70
    Thanks so Much My brain is messing with me today... I feel fine no wds but I don’t understand why I keep thinking I need to take one more? It’s horrible and that’s the battle and fight I’m having which I think everyone has had! I was on suboxone for a week but it didn’t help me at that time so they put me on this methadone! I too have felt the past few years on this that I’m a hermit and have NO desire for anything? It’s a horrible way to live just being on couch or in bed and I have no friends here I feel isolated and live where there is no NA meetings or anything like that! I did make an appt with a counselor! I thought it was just depression but it’s a combo I believe a real hot mess! Lol Talking on here helps a lot and it’s saving me to help get my life back!!! Ty for responding and I will keep going! It definitely helps to know it can be done ✅
    Blessings
    1. Kickingthedemond88
      This site helped me so much! Just documenting my daily struggles is a huge help. It's nice to get it out and be able to go back and read how I was feeling the weeks before to now.

      The struggle you are having now is why i could never taper. I ALWAYS gave in and kept saying I would start it back tomorrow but tomorrow never comes. I just had to tough it out and go cold turkey.

      I always have open ears and I check this site regularly so anytime you want to talk just hit me up!
      Ondonznow70 likes this.
  4. Ondonznow70
    Thank you hun And you inspire me too keep it up! I will continue to post in my journal! Congratulations again on your huge accomplishment of getting your life back ❤️
    Blessings
  5. Kickingthedemond88
    So just as I suspected I felt much better today since I worked and stayed occupied/distracted. I cant just sit at home these days because it makes me lazy as shit. Didnt even start having the daily lower back ache until I got home lol.
      Ondonznow70 likes this.
  6. Kickingthedemond88
    I got off work early around noon and went to a coworker's house to fix his riding lawn mower so being distracted helps so much
      Ondonznow70 likes this.
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